While I’ve recovered (mostly) from the depression that sidelined me from my life for about a year and a half (RIP 2017 -2018 🪦), I’ve discovered a lovely new side effect has emerged. Thanks to depression (with a side of menopause) my brain is broken 😞.
I confirmed my suspicions with my therapist after having done some limited research on the topic. You see I had been feeling like my brain was struggling to function the way I was used to. I am foggy at times more than I am clear headed, my synapses don’t seem to fire the way they used to and there are days when I fight to find the word I’m looking for. And at times it works in ultra-slow motion. I feel like I’m losing brain cells and it worries me. I want my brain to work like it always had because the way it is now is frustrating.
It’s not an all the time thing. When I feel really good about something I’ve written, I know my brain is working in a way that I’m used to. But when I find my brain unable to make connections that shouldn’t be that hard, I know the broken bits are showing themselves again.
It’s funny, I get the NY Times crossword puzzle for my IPad ($40 a year for a puzzle a day, if that’s your jam 😁) and I can tell when my brain is on fire because I can feel it while trying to solve the days puzzle (well not Friday and Saturday’s, their the usually the hardest 😜). Other days, I’ll stare at the clues and my mind is a blank 😶. Those are the days that concern me the most.
I tell this story for three reasons. The first is that if you or someone you know has suffered with depression and you think your brain isn’t working right, this might be why and you are not crazy. The second is to let people know that they do not have to go through any part of depression or other mental health problems alone. There is a whole group of us willing to offer support and any help we can.
The third and final reason is I am looking for suggestions to help me get my brain in proper working order. I and others struggling with this issue, so please share if you have heard of or tried something that might help 😊.
So, I will sign off today with this last thought – if you are struggling, find a therapist that can help and keep looking until you find the right one for you. And I am here to cheer your on in your recovery so “GO TEAM GO!”
My Lemons My Lemonade 