Welcome to another episode of Charleen’s Broken Brain – Sensory Overload edition 🤪
A few years ago, I was introduced to a concept known as Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). As I began to research the disorder, I realized there is a very good chance it is something I have lived with for years 😮! I spoke to my therapist, who was not surprised by this discovery (she’s so smart 💜).
In short, it means my senses can get overwhelmed by certain stimuli, i.e. food and fabric textures, strong odors, certain types of lighting (esp. a strobe effect), loud noises etc. or a lot of stimuli at once. While I have coping mechanisms for most things, one that challenges me the most (and explains soooo much) is large, loud crowds, especially indoors where the sound has nowhere to go, so to speak (SHUDDER). Add a ton of strong, competing smells to the mixture and you might as well shoot me where I stand (just kidding, mostly) And since the pandemic/quarantine my ability to navigate these situations has gotten worse 😬.
Case in point – My friend and I took a sort of “road trip” for the day yesterday. We started off at the Barnes and Noble in Florence (my safe space 😁) and then ventured out to other stores. And there were a lot of people there 😳. I managed, but I could tell it was having an effect on me, especially once the smells emanating from the giant pretzel shop hit me. I have never been able to walk past those in my life without wanting to vomit at the smell 🤢. And tire shops are just as bad. But we finished up our mall adventure and went someplace nice and calm to eat – it even had smooth jazz playing softly in the background 🎶. Senses calmed, we proceeded to our next stop – Sam’s Club – which thankfully wasn’t that busy 😮💨. Lastly, and unfortunately for me, my friend had been dying to check out the new Buc-ee’s that had opened recently (it’s billed as a “convenience store” – but it has a lot going on inside, as some of you may know). Thankfully, I had set a time limit before we went in because it was rough in there for me. Not only a convenience store/gas station but it also offers fresh bbq, a homemade fudge counter, clothing, stuffed animals, and fishing gear (I only know that because I was trying to find a space with fewer people away from all overwhelming bbq and sweets smells 😜). And the noise – oof. A cacophony of voices pierced every so many minutes by a guy yelling about the fresh meat, with the crowd responding in chorus. We were inside for about 35 minutes, and I couldn’t leave fast enough 🏃♀️🏃♀️. And it’s not a bad place, but when you are like me and have that much overload on your senses, you can feel assaulted by it all (probably shouldn’t have gone on the weekend – lesson learned)
And with by coping mechanism for situations like this broken, it makes it tough to navigate. It’s also most likely why I’m reclusive at times. I’m going to have to fix that, or at least learn to strengthen my tolerance for those situations.
So, if someone you know struggles in situations like these, understand that it really might affect them and give them grace if they choose to leave early or not attend. Just a little friendly advice from me to you 😊.
My Lemons My Lemonade 