Forgive me My Lovelies for I have lapsed; it’s been many weeks since my last blog 😁 (just because I don’t follow a religion doesn’t mean I can’t still pull certain things out of my ass to parody 😜).
Yes, I realize that I have been m.i.a lately and I will tell you why. There have been a series of events combined with some turbulent thoughts that have put me in a place where my writing wasn’t coming out the way I had intended and was taking a decidedly unkind tone. I was not wanting to put that energy out there, so I took a pause.
You see the last post was three days before my birthday (I turned 54 for those wondering – no shame either) and I had been waiting a week or so to hear about a job that I had applied to that I felt I was quite perfect for. But it had been crickets as far as a possible interview went, and what made things worse is I know the people involved in the hiring process and I am friendly them as well as with many of the employees. Now I know I have a large gap in my work history, but that doesn’t mean that my skills are lacking. Plus, you know, life experience!?!
And the longer I waited the harder the hit to my self -confidence. I also started getting really angry at myself for having put myself in this position (of being SAHW for so long). You see, I should have continued working in some capacity, but the larger my ex’s career loomed the more I took on at home. I was lulled into a sense of complacency until my world was yanked out from under me in 2018.
So, I have spent most of the last month furious at myself for being in this situation and I have tried to move through it, but the thought that “did this to myself” has been raging inside of my head a lot over the past 6 weeks more or less. Should I put the blame elsewhere? Maybe/probably 🤷♀️. But my brain is working overtime to convincing me that I am completely at fault for my circumstances, and I have been trying to push through with mixed results.
Therefore, I am working from the premise that not getting that job (found out a little over a week ago, they hired internally, and it looks like that was the plan all along 😡) was done for me not to me and that it wasn’t the right move at this time. So, I am back to trying to figure out what I am good at and good for 🤪.
As a result, I am going to work on sharpening up my writing skills and start back at my blog. Let’s see how rusty I am, shall we?
I am also going to continue putting out positive energy and partaking random acts of kindness because it does my soul good 🥰.
But, before you all start to worry, I am still doing well financially. I just need more in my life, and it would be good to cover some of my expenses along the way 😁. Also, know that I am not looking for pity, just understanding from you, My Lovelies.
So that is my “tale of woe”. The lessons? Sometimes our brains are our own worst enemies. And always keep one foot in the workforce…
Love and hugs – Me 🥰🥰🥰
She is the Sun and she is unstoppable!
Sincerely, Christina Yang
Grey’s Anatomy
My Lemons My Lemonade 