Is this show ever going to end? After this week we are down to the final five and spoiler alert, Mr. Chapman did not opt out of the show as I suspected. But we’ll talk about that later.

I should note that the show always starts about two minutes late as the previous show, Temptation Island, is still on. And sometimes I’ll watch the end of it and wonder who would go on such a show – it’s an awful concept. But it keeps coming back, so there’s an audience for it 🤷🏼‍♀️.

We start The Courtship with the usual debrief of the previous night’s Farewell Ball by both sides – the suitors and the court – when the Daily Tea arrives. Oh look it’s a “Festival of Strength” and by festival they mean the men compete in exactly two strength competitions. Some “festival” 🙄.

On the plus side, the show’s host, Mr. Edwards, is present at the activity this week, FINALLY 😍! 

For the first feat of strength the men are divided into pairs and each pair has to lift a 150 concrete medicine ball off the ground onto a barrel. The men prepare by removing their shirts, of course, and the matches begin. I’ll just tell you who one each of the three rounds, Mr. Nazaire, Mr. Judge and Mr. Coines. Mr. Judge lifted that thing without any trouble – it was a sight to behold 🤤. 

Next, they have to hold a “log” (it’s kind of shaped like half of the old wooden stockade) over their head. The first to drop is out, the two with the longest times will go head-to-head. Winners are Mr. Nazaire, again, while totally showboating 🤮 (yep, I really dislike his cocky ass), Mr. Coines again (surprisingly – he even admits he has a dad bod) and Mr. Hunter (and he has a damn fine body I must say 🤤). But the two are with the best times are Messer’s Nazaire and Hunter with Mr. Nazaire winning more time with Ms. Remy. To be fair Mr. Nazaire had a break before the final contest whereas Mr. Hunter went straight into the second lift. Mr. Nazaire, who was a poor winner, gets alone time with Ms. Remy while the others hang out with the court nearby. 

I mostly skipped their conversation because I just don’t care. I did catch him telling Ms. Remy that Mr. Chapman (as we know from last week) is not sure about proposing in the end, should he be chosen, just like a weasel.  And men say women are the worst at throwing each other under the bus, when they are just as bad in these situations. Also, for me, this smacks up against the idea that if you think you are the right person for her, you shouldn’t have to resort to such nonsense. It’s a cheap tactic and yet another reason these shows bother me.

They rejoin the group and Mr. Hunter steals Ms. Remy away for a conversation. He talks again about how hard it is for him to be vulnerable, that he is usually the rock for everyone around him. And I get that – he’s trained himself to hold it in. She just wants more vulnerability from him, and I don’t even know what that means at this point – does she want to know all his secrets? I wouldn’t even be comfortable with that in this environment 😬.

The “Festival” comes to a close and everyone heads to their neutral corners. 

Jesus we’re only 20 minutes in with 40 minutes to go. I cut these non-recaps to the bone and they still run long. Could you imagine if I was more thorough 😳.

Later that evening, Mr. Bochicchio is invited to attend a Regency era spa, in this case a room with two tubs. Before they bathe (mostly clothed mind you 😆). Ms. Remy again pushes the issue of commitment and where his head is at. He still thinks a proposal at the end of it all is a little crazy and she states he is reneging on saying he would propose in the end at the last ball (did you follow that 🤨 😁?). What he is saying is he doesn’t want to rush, he wants to spend real time with her. Props to him he is consistent with his messaging – he wants to build a relationship in the real world. In the end – they jump into the same bath together and make out.

Onto the next day, where Ms. Remy decides to speak with Mr. Chapman (the one she is falling for) privately to ask for the truth in regard to being ready for commitment. He is at least honest with her in saying he is not ready to slow down and may not be able to give her the life she wants (by the end of the show, kind of like Mr. Bochicchio 😜). Also, it seems as if he has Peter Pan syndrome. She leaves in tears, and he goes on a walk to decide if he will stick it out or not.

Now at this point, I think the producers intervened 🙄. If suitors are paid, it might be on a per episode appearance, so one reason to stick around when your one of the lead options. Also, Mr. Chapman is an actor/model and the exposure for him on this show only helps him, which the producers likely pointed out. While it is a reality show, that doesn’t mean it isn’t heavily manipulated (again, may I suggest watching UnReal if you can find it 😁).

So were off to the Farewell Ball and low and behold Mr. Chapman shows up. I am not shocked in the least. And he lands on the dance card. Again, not shocked. He is joined by Mr. Coines (he’s growing on me, despite him also being an actor) and Mr. Hunter. The dance for your life commences and, in the end, Mr. Hunter is sent packing because he just “isn’t opening up”.

Interesting to note that the show was filmed in a five-week period, not two months as I had originally read. So, to ask these guys to be ready for a lifetime commitment after a five-week period just blows my mind 🤯. If marriage is what you want, there is a little show called Married at First Sight over on Lifetime. Maybe she should check it out 😆.

And Mr. Nazaire is an egotistical ass, just saying 😉

Look at that, got it out within two days of the airing – progress 🍾. If you want to read previous Not a Recaps of The Courtship, click the tag below. Also, I Love a Mama’s Boy is returning soon and so are my non recaps 😁.

Let’s jump right in!

First, let’s remember that last week no one went home so two are leaving this week. And I wasn’t surprised about either – one because I didn’t think he was a match and the other because of the edit (started talking about how good he was feeling about his position in the competition, which is the kiss of death ☠️ on these shows).

We begin a new day with the men doing a post ball debrief as well as Ms. Remy doing the same with her court when the Daily Tea arrives announcing that Mr. and Mrs. Remy will be returning, and all are expected to attend a magnificent dinner in their honor. Afterward, a select group will adjourn to the Parlour for games with Ms. Remy and her BFF (no married people allowed again 😜)

The parents are brought up to speed before dinner, with Ms. Remy bending her ear about Mr. Holland (more on that later).

The suitors arrive and Mr. Remy begins the first toast with intentions to ask one of the men to also make a toast. But before he has a chance, Mr. Cones interrupts him to make a toast of his own 😬. Now in fairness, he thought Mr. Remy’s pause meant that he was finished, and he also didn’t know (or forgot his “Regency training” – yep, he said that) that the host chooses the person to give the next toast. Mr. Nazaire gives the toast, in French 🙄, and I’m pretty sure only Mr. Remy understood any of it. It kind of came off a little assholeish if you ask me 🤷🏼‍♀️.

It’s time for the Parlour games and Mr. Mumbray, Mr. Nazaire, Mr. Bochicchio and Mr. Chapman are asked to join the ladies. They play a Regency Era game called kitty where one person acts like a cat and the others are not supposed to laugh. Weird. They then turn to a current drinking game – Never Have I Ever. Lots of things are asked – threesomes, tattoos but the most telling was “never have I ever feared commitment” to which Mr. Chapman downs his entire drink in one swig. Uh Oh trouble in paradise 😮.

The next morning, they all go sport shooting with Ms. Remy’s mother, who besides being a doctor is former military, and I’m not sure any of the men hit the clay pigeon 😆. Of course, they are being distracted by Ms. Remy asking questions while they shoot, but I’m still pretty sure most of them still couldn’t hit a pigeon if they tried. Sadly, the shooting ends when the rain drives them inside.

Two suitors, who feel they need to speak more with Ms. Remy before the ball seek her out, separately.

First at bat, Mr. Hunter who shows up with flowers. Ms. Remy asks about his past dating life and he is a little evasive. He explains in his confessional that it takes him time for him to be vulnerable with people and that there are only a few people he is vulnerable with. Ms. Remy complains in her confessional that he has walls up about his past.

Next up is Mr. Cones who feels he needs to open up to Ms. Remy about something that may affect the way she sees him. You see he is gender fluid and Ms. Remy doesn’t see that as an issue, so they are good. Props to Ms Remy, because even in this day and age, you never know how someone will respond to this information and she handle it beautifully.

Meanwhile, Mr. Chapman is having doubts that he would be able to propose at the end of this competitionexperiment. You see, he lives the van lifestyle which means he has a converted van that he travels the country in, and he isn’t sure he wants to change his lifestyle for her or if she would for him. It is definitely not for everyone.

On to the Farewell Ball, where Mr. Holland, Mr. Mumbray, Mr. Chapman and Mr. Hunter are asked to dance for their life. Unforntunately Mr. Mumbray (no spark) and Mr. Holland (compatibility issues) are sent packing. Both are gracious about it, but Mr. Holland’s farewell speech almost makes me cry it is so kind. Hell, all the guys come to say goodbye to him, that’s how well liked he is. She actually walks him out to his carriage and gives him a gift.

Other thoughts: 

Back to the conversation Ms. Remy has with her mother about Mr. Holland (btw he got the “I’m in a good place” but ends up going home edit 😒). She tells her mother he is too intense that it’s too much too fast with him and he needs to slow down a little. This left me scratching my head because in the past she sent guys home because she didn’t think they were moving fast enough. Hell, Mr. Bochicchio was in trouble because he kept saying he wasn’t sure if he would be ready for marriage after the end of two months and she was thinking about getting rid of him. And here you have Mr. Holland ready to say yes. I’m so confused by her thinking. At least she (sort of) cleared it up by saying it was a compatibility issue, but it doesn’t make her look good that’s for sure.

As for Mr. Nazaire is still an arrogant ass and it feels like he is all about the win and self-promotion (he has a YouTube channel) not about finding love, shocker 🙄.  Also, he this is his second reality show.

Also, I am not sure how long they have been there at this point, but it seems like forever.

Next week looks like a doozy. The previews appear to show Mr. Chapman opting out of the show. Let’s see if that really happens.

Just a reminder, click on The Courtship tag at the bottom to read previous Not a Recap on the show.