I have been having a little bit of an existential crisis lately. Questions like “what am I doing with my life?”, “what is my passion?”, “how do I make an impact on this world?” “why the hell can’t I eat without something ending up on my shirt?” and most importantly “why in the world is there never any bread at the grocery store?” Wait, that last one is a grocery issue – and a real annoyance (it always looks like people are preparing for the zombie apocalypse in that isle 🤪).

In an effort to ground myself I did some free flow writing and came up with almost a page and half paragraph that veered in many directions (not suitable for printing – random thoughts can still hurt people…) and it helped some, so I think it’s something I should do on the regular. I chose to type the free flow because my handwriting has gotten so bad, I am constantly rewriting words and phrases which stems the flow of thought. I also forced myself to focus on the keyboard as much as possible and I allowed myself to fix words if I knew immediately that I had made a mistake. No going back three or four sentences to fix errors (and there were a fair amount 😆) and it was really hard for me to do that. But it was good to get out that which resides in my head. I think it also helped clear out the cobwebs that have taken up residence in my head.

In the meantime, I discovered a book that may help get my motivation going. It’s called Fail Proof: Become the Unstoppable You by Alex Weber (due out on Oct. 5 for those interested). Now normally this is not something I would read, like ever. But I heard him on one of my favorite Sirius shows and, despite his perky energy (I don’t do well with perky 🤷🏼‍♀️) I really resonated with what he was saying. He said that although he comes off really upbeat, he has dark days, and that little negative voice sometimes gets the better of him. And I really relate to that!

Listening to Alex speak also made me realize that since my depressive episode (that lasted about 18 months due to lack of understanding) I will not be the same person I was before. And that I need to stop trying to be that person, and work within my new reality. A reality that includes dark days and the watching for signs of another long-term depression. If I can start to accept these concepts maybe I can combat the bad days better. And maybe my existential crisis will start to resolve itself 😊.

For those thinking similar thoughts to these, I see you, I’m here for you and I support your journey. 

Hugs for those who need it today 🥰.

The whole world has been a lot lately. People are to peopley, pandemic fatigue is high again and we all just need a vacation.  Since I am not ready to travel get on a plane with the flight rage going on lately (and some countries nixing access for American’s – not that I blame them) I have to rely on photos from past vacay’s to get me through.  And I thought I would share a small set with you to help with your fatigue.

I took these photos of the sunsetting (I narrowed it down from several 😁) at the famous Ricks Café in Jamaica. I haven’t found the cliff diving photo’s yet but will share when I do.

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I will share a funny story if not the pictures (respecting the privacy and dignity of the subjects – you’ll understand in a moment). At Ricks they have the professional diver who dives from the platform you see in the photo. And trust me when I say it is really high 😳! However, patrons can choose to jump/dive from a much lower locale that is still high. Well, my younger sister L and her best friend A decided they were going to jump together, and I stayed above to take photos. I switched my camera to sport shot so that I could get all the action and I was not disappointed! With hands clasped together they get a running start. As they are about to leap off the ledge, A balked at the last moment, let go of L’s hand and stumbles to a stop as my sister goes flying over. I almost wet myself laughing 🤣🤣🤣. You would have thought it was scripted! A finally made the jump but that moment when she balked is forever immortalized digitally. And she was a good sport when I showed her the photos. Hands down one of the funniest moments I have ever witnessed in person.

So that is my tale for today. I hope the photos will give you a brief respite from your own stressors. And if your ever in Jamaica – find your way to Ricks for the cliff jumping and sunset. Totally worth the price of admission as they say.

Let me start by saying that I am an introvert by nature that flexes to extroversion easily, especially in small group settings. Drop me into a large group where I know no one and I become very, very quiet. It’s just how I’m made 😊.

However, I do tend to strike up easy conversations with strangers on the regular – when I’m out shopping, at a restaurant, on the street. And I find most of these conversations exhilarating because everyday people are fascinating, and I never pass up the opportunity to converse with most people. Basically, I hijack them 😁. But I am never disappointed. I have learned and taught nuggets of data in these (usually brief) conversations and I most times I leave in a better mood than I was before I encountered said person/people.

Recently I met Irma and Elinor outside of a local restaurant. They had been there when I had entered and exited (an hour later) so I commented on “ladies that lunch” and how much I loved Eleanor’s hat. She complimented me on my hair and thus a conversation was borne. 

When we introduced ourselves, Irma commented on how uncommon their names are, especially these days. She was not wrong, but I did get to surprise her with the fact that she is not the first Irma I have ever met – that I had an Aunt Irma. Now if my Aunt Irma was still alive, she would have been a lot older than these two lovely ladies, but it was a fun fact I shared nonetheless 😊.

Also let me say that the ladies knocked me over when they told me their age – both were 75 and looked at least 10 years younger. I hope I look that good when I’m 75 😁.

So Eleanor was more the chatterbox of the two and in the space of about half an hour, I learned that she had been a psychologist (she also confirmed my broken depression brain), had bred dogs in Japan (if I remember correctly), had lived abroad in many places because her husband had worked for IBM and she had relocated to Columbia SC from San Francisco but that her family has been in San Francisco since the late 1800’s/early 1900’s. She and Irma were utterly delightful, and I was sad to leave the conversation, but we all had things to do. I did impart some local shopping recommendations and got the name of a new restaurant in Columbia to try.

I live for these kinds of organic conversations with people I most likely will never see again. It’s a way to connect in a world that has become too reliant on technology to communicate.

Therefore, I challenge you to start up a random conversation and see where it leads. You might leave on a high note, having made some one’s day because you saw them and acknowledged them just by listening.

Note: More “Everyday People” stories to come…

Greetings my Lovelies! I know I’ve dipped out a bit this week, but the political atmosphere right now has been affecting my mental health, so I’ve been working on a lot self-care lately. Therefore, I’m going to keep it light and bright this week so that we can all hopefully have a reprieve from our emotional stressors.

Today I thought I would talk about my attempts at learning Spanish through immersion. And by immersion, I mean Netflix 😁! About ninety percent of the movies I’ve watched on Netflix lately are from Spanish speaking countries. I 💜 that Netflix has an option to listen in Spanish with English subtitles (although sometimes they flash the subtitles too quickly to fully read 🙄). And there is some great storytelling in many of these movies.  I have found some great movies and I thought I would recommend a few you might want to “Netflix and chill” with. 

I first got hooked by way of the Baztán trilogy, adapted from Dolores Redondo’s books (if I ever learn to read Spanish, I might just have to get them, or wait until they are translated into English – which may happen first 😜) begins with The Invisible Guardian, then moves on to The Legacy of Bones and ends with Offering to the Storm. If you like thrillers, take a peek at the trailers for these gems.

Since the Baztán trilogy I have devoured the following: Unknown Origins, The Silence of the White City, Mirage, The Invisible Guest, Intuition, (the prequel to Perdida which is next on my list 😁). I will admit that they are mostly murder mystery movies, as that is my preference 🤷🏼‍♀️. But if I had to pick one to start with, I would have to say give The Invisible Guest a shot. Very Sherlock Holmes, well written with a great ending. FYI – Unknown Origins is quirky/tongue in cheek compared to the rest and Mirage is slightly similar to the American movie Frequency. 

Sadly, eight movies in and my Spanish isn’t much better 😆. To be fair, I am focusing on understanding the dialogue vs trying to speak it. But I have at least 4 movies in my cue and more to add I’m sure.

I will keep you posted on my Spanish language immersion with future recommendations. I will ask that you give one of the movies a shot – just to mix it up a bit. If you don’t want to do the subtitles, you can opt for the dubbed version. But try to challenge yourself and I want to hear your feedback on any movie from my list 😊. 

Until next time, keep protecting your mental health by any means necessary (except murder, because that would be bad 😬🤪).

Note: Weirdly I kept trying to spell immersion – emersion, which did not come up as a misspelling, but still looked wrong. And it was in this instance. Real word, wrong definition 🤣🤣🤣.

Sorry my lovelies, I’ve been feeling a little adrift this week. I think I need to take a break from the news for a little while (although it’s not easy to do 🙄) as it has been very frustrating lately. The Supreme Courts inaction on the Texas abortion ban pushed me over this week.

In an attempt to turn my frown upside down I thought I would regale you with tales of my bedtime quirks, or tics if you prefer, that I go through every night before I fall asleep 😊. Some of them you may also have, but I’m betting I can amaze you with the amount of energy I spend getting into the right space to fall asleep. I guess you could say it’s my bedtime routine, that I cannot control 😆.

First, let’s talk about my bedding issues. Like most people, I cannot fall asleep unless I’ve got something covering me – sheet, blanket, or comforter – even in the summer. However, said covering CANNOT AT ANYTIME be between me and the bed. Nor can the fitted sheet be bunched up in a way as to create a lump under my body. Anything that creates a feeling of something underneath me will drive me crazy. Even my pillows cannot fall behind my back in any way. I can feel the smallest of wrinkles and I will not sleep until I adjust it. It’s a sensory thing for me.

Also, I usually have the covering up to my ear, if I’m on my side, but NOT on my face. The only exceptions? It’s incredible hot (which I try to keep it cool in the summer) or my nose is so cold I have to warm it up. One of the worst things about my ex is he would pull the covers with him if he rolled over on his side, completely destroying my sleep cocoon (I really need a fist shaking emoji for moments like this 🤣). 

Right now you’re thinking, that’s not so bad. But wait there’s more 😁! I like the covers to snug up to, but not under, my back (if you haven’t guessed by now, I primarily sleep on my side 😜). Also, my sleep shirts have to be pulled all the way down so that my back isn’t exposed to cold sheets, but it can’t be bunched up either. Nor can it sit under me in such a way that hampers my arm movements. In the winter my shirt sleeves must also be pulled to my wrists. And the waist of my sleep pants cannot be twisted or even sit in a way that I deem uncomfortable, or I will fidget with it until I get it just right.

I don’t like the pillow to bunch up around my face because I hate breathing on myself. I’ll even move my arms out of the way if I exhale and it bounces back to my face. I don’t like to even hear myself breath loudly (crazy, I know 😆).

I try to fall asleep on my back or left side but find it so awkward, I roll right over to my right side. And it will still take a good five minutes to get into the correct sleeping position based on the above criteria.

Lastly, there is the actual body position. I need to lie in as straight a position as possible and I can always tell if I’m at an angle. Shoulders must be rolled back and wrists straight as well (I used to curl my hands and wrists inward, and I think it was causing carpal tunnel).

All of this, just to get to sleep 😳. 

I told my therapist about this once and even though she would never say it, I know she thought I was 🤪 (just kidding, but it did fascinate her 😁). We have an idea about the cause, but that’s another story for another day 😊.

I share all of this to show you we all have our quirks (ok, in this case, issues 😆) but if we can invite others to laugh with us, they aren’t such a big deal, are they? Unless you’re trying to go to sleep 🤣🤣🤣.

The struggle is real y’all…

💜 Me