First a quick update – I haven’t had any applicants yet in my quest for a sexy chef, so if you know any single 45 or older gentleman that might fit the bill, send them my way 😜.

As for the horror movie that is my life, I have one word – ANTS 🐜🐜! Every time I think they have subsided another onslaught of the little assholes occurs. Today I found them crawling all over my hamper of dirty laundry 🤢. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I also found a ton of them in an upstairs closet crawling over old sheets and t-shirts on the floor. Then I got bit, again, trying to shove the material in a bag (side note – icing the bites for two fifteen-minute stints made a huge difference, just in case you ever get bit). Fortunately, my pest control was scheduled for today and I’m hoping to have a small reprieve for a few days as he sprayed both floors (🙏🏻 thank the goddesses 🙏🏻). I say small reprieve as it appears (according to the exterminator’s inspection) that the ants have migrated into the foundation – AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! (I’ll bet you heard that scream in your head…)

This will now set up a showdown with the builder as I try to have the problem eliminated 🤦‍♀️. I’ve decided to call Monday so expect a Monday Night Raw post next week 👊🏻. I just need a few days to gear up for that battle because these ants have had me close to a breakdown since I have been under constant the attack (7 separate outbreaks in the last month 😳)! I’d like to say I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but there is one couple that I wouldn’t mind having to is battle these f🤬🤬🤬ers instead of me… 😁😁😁.

So, evidently the curse did not die with the selling of the property and is firmly attached to my aura for the moment. Fear not, I shall find a way to break this twisted magic and maybe send it back to the one who cursed me in the first place 😆😆.

Please send well wishes for some peace for the weekend and support for the battle royale set to take place Monday – I’ll take all the help I can get 😊😊.

If this day wasn’t weird enough, I watching some sort to fight among the birds for ownership of my tree out front 🤔. I’m being overrun by nature, send help… 😳 🤣🤣

While I said I would never rely on another man again financially, I have decided that I will rely on one who will make sure to feed me on the regular 😆.

You see, I’ve have developed some very bad lack of eating habit living by myself. I tend to get sidetracked by other things (like books 😁) and I don’t realize that I’m starving until I pull my head out of whatever project (ok, book 🤷🏼‍♀️) I’m working on.

And even though I might have had a plan for dinner, I start looking for easier solutions – take out, leftovers, bowl of popcorn, or nothing at all – because I don’t particularly want to prep, then cook, then clean up afterwards. I think since I’ve been the primary cook in my house since 1996, I’m a little over trying to figure out what to cook. I will literally try to plan meals that make the least amount of mess and are relatively easy to prep and cook. Unfortunately, I tend to glaze over the healthy part when deciding what to make 😬 (a lot of chicken pot pies and chicken fingers have graced my kitchen over the years. At least it’s 🐓). 

So, as I start to enter the world of dating again, one thing is clear – I need someone who loves to cook or at the very least is willing to pitch in on the regular (or pay for a chef 😆). Otherwise, I might end up starving to death if they don’t 😳.

Applicants may apply in the comments😜. Single males only need apply 😊.

Note: As I am writing this, it’s just after 6 pm and I’m starting to get hungry. I have at least 20 minutes prep and probably 15 minutes cook time before I eat. I really need to pay closer attention to the clock 🤪.

When I set up my office in the new house, I wanted to make sure it had a view. Originally, I wanted to face the pond behind the house, but the only two rooms available for office space had windows in the corners (with one next to the closet, so no way to really gaze out the window at the pond while working. That left the second-floor room in the front – center window facing the field with a covered picnic area and public restroom. Not as glamourous as I had hoped for (insert dramatic sigh here 😁). 

However today the view paid off. 

As I was sitting here getting ready to write (well rejecting several ideas to write about 😆😆) I watched as a dad on a bike and his daughter (4ish I’d say) in her electric kiddie car ride by, thinking “aww how cute”. Now he is riding behind her at a slow pace because those cars only go so fast, and I give him a lot of credit for keeping his balance at that speed. On the second pass in front of my house he was in front of her, and I watched as she steered right at him. Just as I was thinking “if she hits him, it could be bad” she ran into his back tire, sending the front of her vehicle upwards about a foot or two. The rider felt the bump and that was the extent of any damage. However, as the dad was stepping down off the seat, she hit him again! And I start laughing my ass off 🤣🤣🤣 (in the privacy of my office, of course). It was one of the best laughs I’ve had in a long time because of its spontaneous nature and the innocence in which it happened. And the dad was so sweet about it, just directed her around his bike, having learned his lesson to.

It also reminded me to never let a car of any size stay behind me while biking 😜.

That wholesomely funny scene will bring me joy the rest of the day!

No one was harmed in any manner but it sure was hysterical when she hit him a second time. Also, Word does not flag “ass” as a problematic word choice 😁.

Now I generally love the rain. However, when it rained Wednesday night (Elsa came through town 🌧) the wind that accompanied it also knocked over my poor little starter tree in the front yard. The only one in the neighborhood I might add 🙄. My neighbor, who was kind enough to help me stake it, said I should submit a claim for hurricane damage 😆😆. As it was the only one to topple over, I was very tempted.

The storm also seemed to drive another horde of ants into my house, that managed to circumvent the floor barrier that was sprayed by opting to pore out of an electrical outlet in my kitchen. They then proceeded to attack a brand-new loaf of bread 🤬. An hour and two damn ant bites later, I had most of them vacuumed up, but I’ve spent the better part of the day watching for another onslaught and sucking up the strays/scout ants that pop up. So now that it’s raining again, I’m worried about another invasion. And I might lose my ever-loving mind if that happens.

And if the tree and the ants weren’t enough, my tire had a screw in it 🤦‍♀️. Thankfully, it was in a place that only required a patch 😮‍💨. I know it doesn’t have anything to do with the rain, but hopefully it completes the circle of three so that I can have a pleasant weekend, because this shit is exhausting 💤.

Now I have to find a spot where my dog can sit nearby as she doesn’t like the rain. Although I should add, that she doesn’t like the rain when she is inside. Take her out to do her business in it and she will just stand there letting it hit her until she feels compelled to complete the task at hand, soaking us both 😡.

Anyone want to house swap with me for a few days? Ants included for free 😜.

Have an amazing weekend my lovelies – I know I’m going to try to 😁!

One of my favorite songs is “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks  for a variety of reasons (it’s on my playlist for when I’m feeling down 😊). But today especially because of the first line “I hate the world today…”

Now I don’t really hate the world, but somedays it just feels like that. I think it started when I went on my bike ride today (the masochism has begun 🙃) and I realized how bad my cardio has gotten since I stopped swimming. Then add on the humidity and I was a hot mess after my 20–25 minute ride 🥵 (building up my endurance y’all!). It was not an attractive thing to witness 😬.

I showered and walked into my closet to pick out something to wear and I hated everything I own. Every shirt I looked at I thought “I’ve worn a thousand time already this year (spoiler alert – I haven’t 😜) or it just looked old, or it covered up too much for this heat, or I just wasn’t “feeling it” today. It took me about ten minutes to decide what to wear after I spent 20 minutes telling myself not to throw out everything I own (insert my patented Dramatic Sigh here 😁).

This usually happens later in the summer but this year it came started earlier than usual and has made me a little surly today 😡, which then tempers the rest of my day. And the heat index and incoming storm only serves to exacerbates (why does this spelling look wrong 🤨?) my mood. GAAAHHH

So, what does one do in these situations? First – batten down the hatches because that storm is going to be UGLY. Then I changed the energy in the house by focusing on a task (today was cleaning) until the irritation goes away and finally I “Bitch” (see what I did there 😆) about it on my blog because I know I am not the only woman who has had moments of wanting to rid her closet of everything and start from scratch 🤣!

And in the end as the song goes “tomorrow I will change and today won’t mean a thing”. Such is my life most times 😁😁.

Hah! Word didn’t flag Bitch. I guess it’s the one cuss word it doesn’t mind 🤪. Also if you’ve never heard this song, you may want to check it out. https://youtu.be/6ge53QaDpKQ

Anyone want to guess what mobile phones and a slice bread with peanut butter on it have in common? If you drop either one it will always land face side down, every time 🤦‍♀️!

I have had more problems with dropping my current phone than any other, including the one that fell out of my pocket and under the bushhog deck while it was running (just a light scratch on the screen that time 😁).

I replaced my previous phone 2 years ago. About a month or so after I bought my current one, I set it on a ledge (2/3 on and 1/3 hanging off) when it leapt off the ledge and fell face first onto the tile and shattered the screen – a first for me 😡. Nothing had touched it, it just flipped itself off the ledge while I watched it happen 😮😮. And unfortunately for me, the case that I bought to protect it was not an otter box case and did f🤬🤬k all to help.

I had the screen repaired and a tempered glass cover piece placed over the new screen. Thank the Goddess that I did that because not long after I dropped the damn thing again and a small crack appeared in the tempered glass. And as of last night, a third small crack has appeared because the stupid phone jumped out of my hands for about the millionth time and fell, face first, on the floor. I’m beginning to think that the phone has some sort of death wish 😳.

Ok, so I am forever dropping this phone. When I go to replace it in the near future, I will be sure to buy the best case I can to prevent my butter fingers from shattering another screen 😆.

So, the moral of this post 4^th of July story – never, ever, ever let me hold your phone 🤣🤣🤣.

Great, not only does Word not appreciate my foul language, now it’s constantly flagging phrases that should be shortened, I guess in an effort to conserve words 🤨? I wrote what I wrote – so cut it out Word 🤬.