There has been a positive shift in my world, so I thought I would end this week with a few of my favorite quotes to inspire you to “go out and do something that makes the world go wow” (borrowed from the World of Wonder Show on Radio Andy) 

I’m going to start today’s post by stating the moral of the story, well post, “Gut Punch” – googling your ex or his mistress wife/mistress husband is NOT a good idea. If Aesop were still alive, I’m sure he would have written a great fable about this very thing 😆😆.

Also Gut Punch might be a good title for a movie, or my autobiography – ghost written of course 😁.

Next in line, my printer. You’ll be happy to know that my printer has been cooperating as well as my computer. The gremlins have quieted down – for now 😈. We’ll see how the other electronics fair around me. But rest assured, the next time I have a major electronic 🤬 up (and there will be a next time), I’ll be writing about it – kind of like a diary 😜.

As for the property, I will vaguely say that there allegedly there has been some resolution. I won’t say more because the way my luck has been… But if you’ve read me long enough you know that I will always finish the story 😊.

My final vaccine shot is two weeks away and to say that I cannot wait to recover from it and plan a trip would be an understatement. I was hoping to go to Costa Rica (I may have mentioned moving there in the future once or twice) however, it is not recommended at this time even if you’re vaccinated – bummer ☹. So, the contiguous United States it is 😊.

On the attitude of gratitude front I did forget one very important person – my friend, my hairstylist, Arin. She has been doing my hair ever since I moved to town 6 and a half years ago. We’ve shared stories and passed sympathies between us over the years. She stood by me during my divorce. She gave me a fabulous new cut and didn’t even question me about growing out the gray (yep, I gave up dying my hair after 25 years)! Most importantly, she doesn’t try to convince me that I am not paranoid about the weirdness of my hair. She knows the truth – it has a mind of its own! Just yesterday we were again contemplating shaving it all off and retraining it as it grows back. Now that probably won’t work, but a gal can dream. And if I do decide to shave it, most likely in the winter, she promises to go wig shopping with me. That is a true hairstylist and friend 💜💜.

I am still plagued by my dreams and will probably do another analysis in the near future. It is seriously weird in my head sometimes

I think that’s enough random updates for now. If I have missed something you would like an update on, just let me know.

Note: I hope you get that the humor in my most of my posts is very sardonic and self-deprecating. It may not always translate in writing 😊.

Note: This post is not about looking for sympathy. It is an honest portrayal of things happening in my life. The goal of being so honest? To let people know that while our past emotional pain may not look the same, it can feel the same. And in that they are not alone in it.

I try very hard not to google my ex and the mistress he married. And it’s been a year since the last time checked in on him. And the only reason I went looking was to determine if the company that he left me for (along with the mistress) had been sold. Now the main reasons he took this job in Boston was the promise of stock options that would vest when the company was sold. “Golden Handcuffs” to keep him motivated to stay and build up the business to make it a lucrative enough to sell.

However, the name of the company escaped me, so I had to google him and his linkedin page popped up. And on his page it says that he works for a different company as of last month. And no, his previous company wasn’t sold – he left it, something he wouldn’t do no matter how much I asked him to in the last two years of our marriage. His reason? “Golden Handcuffs”

Then my search took a hard left. Because the new company is in a different state than he resides in, I was curious if he put his house up in order to move. Since I didn’t find anything under his name, I made the mistake of googling (I would have never thought 20 years ago, this would be a verb 🤪) the mistress wife and discovered they were due to have a child in the next two months – GUT PUNCH 🤢. That is the only way to describe how I felt learning that something I had guessed at had actually happened (I had predicted they would be pregnant in the first year of marriage – I was off by a month or so). And I was frustrated that I let it bother me so much, after all this time. But as my best friend said, “it ok to feel how you feel”.

 So, I went for a walk (listening to Watch What Crappens – those guys slay me 🤣🤣🤣) and it helped me realize that part of the anger still stems from the fact that he simply walked out of our life and straight into another and, three years later, I’m still recovering. In a much better place, yes but still recovering (25 years relationship = x years of recovery, solve for x 😆)

Also, during my stroll, I took stock of my life (or stalk as I weirdly texted my friend – and yes I realized I actually used the wrong word 🤦‍♀️😆). And I realized I have a pretty good life at the moment. I’m debt free – including the house, I will have a significant amount of money in investments by the end of June, and I am financially comfortable to take the time I need to build a small business and maybe take on a part time gig that brings me joy and covers some expenses. The world is slowly opening, and I can start making some long overdue visits. I also have great friends across the US and here where I live. In the grand scheme of things, I’m doing ok for myself.

And this morning, that gut punch feeling is gone, and today is another day to work towards creating the life that I deserve. And in time, the pain will be a faint memory, and I will have built a life I love on my terms 😊 💜!

Check out these two songs that inspire me and please share this post if it will help someone you know and love. 

XOXO ME 

Keala Settles singing This Is Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLFEvHWD_NE

Britt Nicole singing The Sun Is Rising https://youtu.be/LO36F–Vn1g

Today has been a relatively productive day. I almost have my desk in order – certainly better order than it has been lately. Paperwork that lingered on my desk is now filed, bills organized and set for payment and my computer/printer set-up has been resolved for now (I had to move my computer to the other side of the desk so that the printer plug could reach it 🙄). It is amazing how much time it can take to organize such a small space 🤷🏼‍♀️.

For the moment the printer behaving itself, but I fear there may be an issue with the computer (last night it restarted again for no reason). I just can’t with my computer today, so I am going to monitor the situation until I have the brain capacity to deal with it.  Me + 💻 = 🤬🤬🤬.

I also decided that since I was cleaning, I should work on deleting emails as well. What a hole that is. I try to keep up with it on the daily, but I always think “I might need/want something from that email” and I don’t delete it. And then I forget about it until it’s been sitting in my folder for 3 weeks, with dates passed or old information 😆😆. Hot mess express right here 🙋‍♀️.

As I was deleting emails, I found a few asking me to take action. So I did. The results were varied and, in some cases, odd. 

At 1 pm today, I had a request to participate in a survey regarding an upcoming book title. I clicked the link around 2:30 and it was already closed – sheesh, short response time much? The next survey request came over the weekend from Eddie Bauer (I love their v neck t-shirts!) offering to pay me $150 if I’m chosen from sign up. That was a no brainer, 🤞! Another book survey (asking what I like to read) from last week was also in my pile of emails. I clicked the link for the approximate 10-minute survey (I’m really good at procrastinating on my work 😁) and after the fourth question about my ethnicity (white), they were done with me and ended the survey. Hopeful it means they are focusing on IPOC.

Next on the list of oddities – a survey for Psycom (https://www.psycom.net). It’s an online site that sends me periodic emails with stories/information about mental health issues (recommend checking them out). Again, I click the “take survey” icon on the email and the first question is age, in whole years (their words). I type in 52 and it won’t proceed because I have to answer the age question. Huh 😕?!? I try typing the word out – nope didn’t like that – then typed the number again with the same response. You know what I did? You guessed it, DELETE 😆!

At least the last two emails I dealt with were positive. The first was a request to join Penguin Random House reader rewards – we’ll see if I live to regret it 😮. The next email I should have read all the way through on May 12 because a comic strip that I have loved and read since the 1996 (and recently ended) will be re-run from the beginning on GoComic – a comic subscription service. As of today, Buckles has been added to my favorites! Dog lovers will totally appreciate this strip, so if you have GoComics (https://www.gocomics.com), check it out 😊.

Somedays it’s the little things that bring the most joy 💜

Well, my printer shit the bed again – 🤬🤬🤬 electronics!  All I wanted to do was print one simple page so that I could change my address on my driver’s license and registration (which is a story in and of itself). That was all. Long story short (too late – you’ll get that joke if you’ve ever watched Clue), I erased and reinstalled the printer, connected to the wireless and still no link. I finally moved my printer close enough to my computer so that I could hardwire it to the computer and miracle of miracles, it worked (an hour later). I physically disconnected it from the computer, and it still worked wirelessly. 

Fantastic! I printed my what I needed and left for the DMV. However, upon my return the computer informed me that it had shut down due to an error (probably a brief power outage) and restarted. I login and, just for the fun of it, check the printer status – offline! And no way to get it to come back online (trust me I googled everything I could think of and nothing helped). So hard wired in it is, for now. 

I think the required Apple updates are just screwing with my ability to work with my printer wirelessly and when I have time I will sit on the phone (or most likely in an online chat 🙄) with HP and figure this BS out. And then I’m going to find and marry a tech support person who can just do all of this nonsense for me 😁!

Tomorrow, I rearrange my desk, again….

It’s a wonder I’m even allowed to take care of myself 🤦‍♀️ 🤪.

Have I ever mentioned that computers/electronics hate me? Off and on for years I have had issues with both items. When I was coming back from The Netherlands in 2016, I walked up to the Dutch customs guy who was telling his colleague how great his scanner and computer were working. I hand him my passport and sure as shit the damn scanner stops working properly. I literally took 2 steps back and voila, no more errors. I’d say if you don’t believe me, ask my ex, but seeing as we no longer speak… 😆😆😆

In late 2019, I spent 2 hours on the phone with Apple trying to find a bug in my computer. The tech support lady had me looking everywhere to no avail. To fix it, I had to schedule an appointment at the Apple store in Charlotte, drive two hours there and two hours back, just to have the tech fix it in 30 seconds! The issue was buried deep in the system. And to this day I have no idea how the 🤬 I caused that particular problem 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Others have witnessed this phenomenon when they have been around me. Grocery store registers rebooting, electronic doors don’t open at first, computers going haywire when I am around them. And if I take 2 steps backward and the problem usually resolves itself.

I’m infamous for making my computers and electronics do weird shit like that all the time. They hate me and I’m beginning to feel the same about them.

Today’s offending electronic – my printer 🖨. As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I hadn’t gotten around to unpacking my printer yet. Well, I finally pulled it out last night, but like an idiot, I didn’t try to test it until today. Set up the wireless on it – but didn’t test it. And as night follows day, I go to use it this afternoon and of course it doesn’t want to talk to my computer 🤦‍♀️😡.

30 minutes later, after loads of internet searches and an HP virtual assistant (don’t get me started on them) offering to set me up with virtual technician (jeez if you can’t do it why did you bother me online in the first place), I broke down and called my mother, a former tech support person, for help. We tried a few things (that refused to work) before uninstalling and reinstalling the printer (something my gut had told me to do before involving my mom 😜).

🎉SUCCESS 🎉.

And this, my dear reader, is why a) I have questionable sanity and b) I will never own a self-driving car 😁!