My Lemons My Lemonade

Apologies for My Absence

Well, I set the expectation that I would blog more, then fell off the grid for a few days 🤦‍♀️. I apologize for that. In my defense, I had company that was here to help with items that needed to be done around the house, items like hanging drapes in the master so that I have a level of privacy, something I haven’t needed in the last 6 years. And, when you move back to civilization, you don’t want to scare the kids while roaming naked through your house 😳😳😆.

It was also helpful to have company because they discover things I missed. Like the fact that the guest bathroom toilet tank isn’t refilling after you flush and that you need to fill it with a bucket of water so that, at the very least, it can be used at night and early morning (argh!). Or that in that same bathroom the door handle had the lock facing outward instead of into the bathroom (I guess if I had kids that could be useful 🤔). You know, fun stuff like that 🤣🤣🤣. I’d like to say we fixed it all, but the plumber is coming Tuesday 🤷🏼‍♀️.

On the bright side, the chigger bites stopped itching days ago and I stopped trying to rip my skin off. I found that rubbing alcohol worked the best for itching just in case you ever get bit by those bastards!

I’m still foraying into the neighborhood and trying to get Reese to act more civilized in the process (side note – it’s not working 🙄). I suppose I’m trying to re-socialize myself in the process with much better success 😜. It’s still a little challenging when your 52 single and childless, but the moms around me are pretty accepting of this old, divorced gal. All in all, still loving my neighbors and neighborhood (still disliking the master bath shower though).

While I’m in an updating mood, let’s talk about my anxiety. Thankfully I haven’t had an attack anywhere near as bad as the one I documented here a few weeks ago. But just as I was remarking to myself that I hadn’t had an attack at all lately, I woke up this morning to a minor one coming on. I think my brain just likes to f#*k with me (“oh she hasn’t had an attack in a while, well we can fix that 😁”). I worked through it, but it sucks because even minor attacks can color your day. I guess it’s back to stables this week for a little horse therapy for me 🐎.

And the dream insanity continues as well, but that’s for another day.

As for that 🤬 property that I have under contract, everything is moving forward as far as I know (checking in tomorrow to be sure). But as we’ve seen time and again, the gods of real estate have thrown curveballs at me, so I am wary. However, if all goes well, this whole nightmare will come closer to an end by May 31^st. The last little bit is the owner financed piece of the original sale, which comes due in 4 months 🤞. Note: for those of you new to the site, if you search the tags for Selling, Buying, Moving you can revisit the “fun” I had trying to get out of my old house 😆.

For the week ahead, I am focusing on blog content and starting my business. Oh and I’m FINALLY scheduled for my first vaccine shot.

Thanks for hanging in with me, I promise to do better.

Yes, there are Bugs Called “Chiggers”

I’m pretty sure this is what they look like 😳
Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

Anyone else wake up at 1:45 am to burning itching legs? The kind of itch that makes you want to use a fork to scratch them? Or am I the only one with chigger bites all over their legs? (Yes the word is chigger and yes you better annunciate when saying it). Anyone? Bueller?

That’s how my night went. I thought that I had mosquito bites, and a couple of them were, but the majority are chigger bites, and they itch infinitely worse than mosquito bites. I tried covering them with a baking soda paste, which worked on the mosquito bites but did nothing for the chigger bites. I am in hell and I will be searching for more solutions to end this waking nightmare (I’d usually say I’m being overdramatic, but trust me I’m not 😬). End of rant.

Now that I got that off my chest, how are you all doing today? I will be honest; besides the bug bites, it was not a half bad start to the day. I finally got some drapes for my bedroom and the guest rooms so YAY PRIVACY! Of course, I forgot the shower rod and rings for the spare bathroom, and I have company, so another trip to Lowe’s is in order 🤦‍♀️. I was so close…

On a different topic, as you all may have noticed last week I was experimenting with daily blogging and it seemed to go well, so I am working to continue along that vein. I had hoped to post something yesterday, but what I could not make the topic work to my satisfaction, so sometimes I have to walk away and try another day. And here we are 🙃😊.

📚 For my book compatriots, I am still working my way through Us Against Them by Fredrick Bachman. I’m enjoying it but I’ve been distracted since the move, so it is taking longer than I had hoped. Also, when I look to update the site, I may move to a different format. Books will still be a part of discussions; it just might look different 📚

Lastly, if you find yourself feeling a little blue, let me offer a few distractions that might lift your spirits: number one – The Hitman’s Bodyguard, especially if you love Samuel L. Jackson. It makes me laugh every time and the sequel, the Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is coming out June 16^th and if it’s half as good as the first, it will be hilarious! Next, if you like snarky humor might I suggest the podcast Watch What Crappens? The gist is that two gay,male friends recap Bravo shows, and they have the right amount of snarky humor to make it fun to listen to. Even if you don’t watch Bravo shows, consider giving this a podcast a shot because they are hysterical, especially their tangents. If neither of those suggestions work, how about finding Tibetan singing bowl videos? The sound is very soothing and may help you balance your mood.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it… until next time, that is 😁.

Trying a Little Dream Analysis

Last week I mentioned I had a doozy of a dream. I thought today, for fun, I would try a little dream analysis with help from Dreambible.com (not a secure site, fyi). I wonder what I’ll discover 🤔.

First the dream: It starts with me in my car driving in the rain at night. I’m at the top of a steep hill and at the bottom small part of the road is covered in water from the river below. Next thing I know, I’m out of my car looking down trying to decide if it’s safe to pass. Deciding that it’s not, I go to turn around and the path has narrowed considerably (it’s now about two feet wide), I trip as I’m turning and fall on the embankment of the path. I pull myself back onto the path (my car has since disappeared) and I start to crawl back up. I look over the edge and see 3 children (one in a wheelchair) playing in the river, but it seems to be a cove because the water doesn’t appear to be pushing them around. I shout at them to be careful and begin climbing again. I spot boards/planks at the top of the path and a woman is moving them so that I can get out of the underground cavern I’ve suddenly found myself in – the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I crawl out and the dream ends.

Let’s see what I can deduce from this dream using the above-mentioned site. I tried to pick the most relevant images.

Driving: To dream of driving a vehicle represents full control of decision-making or the direction a situation you are experiencing is taking. Controlling or navigating the direction in life you are headed.

Rain: To dream of rain represents sadness, disappointment, difficulties, or depression. It may also reflect despair.

Steep Hill: To dream of a steep hill represents feelings about an obstacle or challenge that isn’t impossible, but you noticeably don’t like it. Annoyance that you have to put a lot more effort into overcoming something that isn’t impossible than you want to.

So, I’m in control of my direction however I may be disappointed about it and annoyed that I have to put more effort than I want to into something that isn’t impossible? Interesting.

Narrow Path: To dream of a dangerous path represents feelings about the direction in life you are taking being laid out for you while feeling it’s risky. Knowing how to proceed with a situation while feeling a sense of emotional danger for the future. A possible sign that your current direction in life needs to be reevaluated. Feelings about following a potentially dangerous course.

Tripping: To dream of tripping over something represents problems or issues that weren’t expected. Poor foresight or not listening enough that caused an embarrassment.

My direction in life feels risky and may need to be reevaluated maybe because of the unexpected issues or problems?

Children: If you dream of children that you don’t recognize it represents new ideas, or situations that are being encouraged. Something not thought of before. Negatively, it may reflect burdens, responsibilities, or problems that have to be looked after.

Both interpretations could be true.

Wheelchair: To dream of a wheelchair represents an emotional or psychological dependency on something to barely function.

This one threw me because it was a child I didn’t know in a wheelchair and this interpretation was if I was in the wheelchair. Really couldn’t find anything that made sense of this image. Thoughts?

Crawling: To dream of a crawling represents goals that are challenging your ability to complete them. Being forced to take your time or be careful about every single detail of a problem. It may also reflect a situation that is subjecting you to agonizing amounts of patience or “red tape.”

Yep – completely accurate on both counts, especially since I’m looking at making blogging and more into a business.

Subterranean: To dream of something subterranean represents some area of your life that you don’t want noticed. A wish to hide something. Doing something privately or that doesn’t draw attention.

Since I blog about my life and I’m being very open, this doesn’t add up. Not much to hide in my life 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Lumber (boards being moved at exit): To dream of seeing lumber represents a situation you feel you can do something about. Noticing that change or a fresh start is possible. Starting over, re-organizing, or rebuilding. Flexibility or an opportunity to change. Feelings about being able to rebuild yourself or rebuild your life with a resource.

Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner 😁. Most accurate interpretation yet.

Light: To dream of light represents clarity, illumination, understanding issues, guidance, or insight. It may also reflect inspiration. Perhaps, “light is being shed” on a difficult or confusing situation.

Started out in control and disappointed ended on illumination and inspiration, quite the whirlwind dream 😊.

Doing this interpretation reminds me of Ron trying to interpret Harry’s tea leaves in The Prisoner of Azkaban (movie not the book) – “You’re going to suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it.” 🤣🤣🤣

Anyway, this is where I landed with things. Accurate or not, it was a great exercise in trying to make sense of the craziness that happens when I’m asleep.

Anyone else want to give it a go? As always sound off in the comments…

Attitude of Gratitude

I felt challenged to find a good closing post for this week. I’ve had several ideas flit in and out of my brain, like last night’s dream – what a doozy! But I decided to hold that for another day.

Today I thought I would talk about some of the good things that actually came out of my divorce. It may have taken me three years post separation to get here, but here I landed ready to let more go from that destructive time in my life.

One of the best things to come about over the last three years was reconnecting with some very close friends that I lost touch with as a result of my previous relationship. It’s funny, when you’re in the thick of things, you don’t realize what you may have sacrificed along the way. But this past year or so I made a conscience effort to rebuild relationships that meant a lot to me and it has made all the difference. Included on (in?) that list of relationships are Shannon, Brett, Dave and Jen. I have truly missed them.

Another positive outcome are the people that have come into my life as a result of that life changing event. People I might not have met otherwise. First up, Jeanene – yes, the Jeanene you have read a lot about in this space. She became one of the best parts of my recovery and a great friend. I will be forever grateful for that.

Next there is Robb, my beloved friend that I met volunteering at the library. He is more introverted than I am, and he has the kindest soul (though I think he would disagree with me). He is my “Netflix and Chill” friend, my talk ad nauseum about books friend and I am glad he has a part in my life.

And then there is Jake – lovable, full of life Jake who I fell into an easy friendship with because of his endearing attitude. He has been a bright spot-on a cloudy day for me. Ironically, we are about 20 years apart and both Aquarians which makes for an interesting relationship in the best possible ways.

I also need to thank Rick and Mary for their unwavering support and advice. Some of the best people I have ever known.

Lastly, I need to give a special shout out to my therapist – Dr. Miller. She has been a godsend and it would have probably taken me longer to recover if I hadn’t found her. I will be eternally grateful for her guidance through one of the roughest periods in my life.

As always, I have nothing but love for my parents, my sisters (Lori and Colleen) and my friend Rory, who were there throughout it all.

I am sure I am missing some well-deserved mentions and if I am, please scold me appropriately. I just wanted to take a moment an express gratitude for the good that has come into my life in the last three years.

And I would like to encourage all of you to take a moment and list the people and/or events that have had a positive impact in your world. It’s a great way to lift your spirits.

Oh Happy Day 🍾

Today is a short post because I have to share some good news – I now have what I like to call REAL INTERNET 🥂!

Anyone who lives in a rural area has discovered that many of locations only have access to expensive or limited options in order to have internet service. For the first 4 years we used a Cantana which gave us 100gb of 4g speed at the cost of $350 a month (and that’s only because we signed up for a deal that you buy 50gb you get 50gb free). After the legal separation I moved to a mobile hotspot which gave me 15gb’s of 4g speed. If you used up your 15gb allotment you were dialed back to kb speed. After about a year I had to buy a second hotspot because suddenly I was using up more data (allegedly). I barely streamed anything for fear of being dialed down 😳. So, when I moved into the new house, I immediately called to get my internet hooked up. It took three weeks and here I am, part of a civilization that doesn’t have to worry about kilobyte speeds again. I can stream without fear of losing highspeed and I will no longer get countless emails telling me I’m almost out of data/I’m out of data. It is a glorious week indeed!

Praise the Goddesses above!

Note: I could wax poetic about this topic forever 😆😆😆. Comment below with your internet nightmare stories.

That Cursed Property

Not my actual property, but it sure is pretty
Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Pexels.com

Note: I know that Wednesday’s I usually discuss books, but this week I’m switching it up a bit. But my books still need to be freed from their boxes 😁.

Those who have been playing the home version of this game remember the drama that went into selling my home and the 58 acres that went with it. Initially the owners wanted to lease the other hundred acres but after all of the shenanigans that went down, that option was nixed in the end. So, the acreage went up for sale again at the original price.

Two people were very interested from the outset. The first one was really pushy about an answer on her bid that was well under asking. On top of that she was difficult for my lovely Jeanene to get a hold of, and she seemed to labor under some delusion that because she really wanted it, she deserved it at her price. As Ariana Grande said, “Thank you, next” (yes I quoted Ms. Grande – it seemed fitting 🤷🏼‍♀️).

So along came suitor number two. He had been very interested in the property from the outset but dragged his feet and the house buyers placed a lease on the property. Now that it was back on the market, he was back in and came out to “stomp the land” as they say. He also made a low-ball offer. Unfortunately, because I worded my text incorrectly to Jeanene (totally my fault) I sort of completely rejected his offer instead of coming back with a full price counter – oops 😬. After some back and forth a price just under asking was reached and the surveyor was again out to finish the other hundred acres (which he paid for along with paying someone in the state to do a PERC test faster than my county could schedule).

Well long story short, and unbeknownst to me, I have wetlands that apparently expanded from the original survey (40 of the 100 acres are protected wetlands, allegedly). You may think it’s weird that I didn’t know about the wetlands, but I wasn’t the one who picked this property – it was another ex “special”, meaning he “just had to have the property” (he thought he was good at picking property – he wasn’t). I have never toured the entire property because I didn’t feel the need to and because it is really overgrown in many places.

As a result of this discover, he wanted to renegotiate because he had to change his plans for the property. And even though it was already well priced, I agreed to another reduction because I need to be out from under this cursed property.

As you know from round one of this match it was a shit show. Round two isn’t much better 🙄. At least this time I don’t have to pack up and get out in 10 days 😁.

However, Jeanene and I agreed that if he raised one more issue, I was out and I would wait for another offer. So far all seems well but we shall see.

I’ve said it before, I couldn’t make this up no matter how hard I tried!

And so ends another chapter in the never-ending quest to get out from under this property, although I’m sure some other unforeseen challenge lies ahead – probably in the form of taxes. Thanks for letting me amuse you with the tale of this 🤬🤬🤬 land. As always, I will update you as I go.

Let’s just hope the bad juju stay behind 😳😆.

Mission: Neighborhood Assimilation

Note: A good friend of mine told me the other day that he has an idea for a book and has some of it written in his head, so I gave him a homework assignment to write one page a day, to start. I figured if I am going to make a go of this blog, I need to write more myself. Let’s see how it goes!

Week 3 progress report: I’d like to say that I have been very proactive in getting out and meeting my neighbors, but I’m still an introvert at heart so I’ve been easing into it 😁. The two new neighbors I met this week were when I was out with my very unfriendly dog (she barked/growled when they called out – she believes in social distancing from almost everyone 🙄 😆). Fortunately, they were very understanding. So, I am up to five contacts – the neighbors on either side of me, each of their next-door neighbors and another a couple with a newborn, all quit lovely people. Just don’t ask me all of their names 😬.

And then there is this one weirdo – female, in her 50’s acts like she’s lived in the woods for the last 6 years and doesn’t know how to behave around new people. Oh wait that’s me 🤦‍♀️. Ok, I’m not that bad. And I am getting better about asking for help (not my strong suit – I feel like I’m bothering people). Just the other day Candice, my next-door neighbor, gave me a hand with a project in my office. I was happy to reciprocate when she needed packages taken off of her porch and stored while she was out of town. It was a weird feeling to be asked to do a simple task – 6 years of near isolation does that to a person 😆! Thankfully they haven’t noticed my weirdness yet, so 🤫🤫🤫.

I will say, I have gone so far as to suggest a kid friendly, block party in the future (like fall time frame – summer is just to hot and muggy to be outside 🥵). And while I haven’t made it across street for the ball games they have yet, I will soon. I have offered to babysit in a pinch as long as no diapers are involved and I’m willing to offer any assistance where I can. I also am very aware of children on bikes in the street and have no problem just stopping until they are safely out of the way. The only annoyance I have found are the literal roadblocks by the building subcontractors on occasion, but there is the field I can drive through if necessary.

All in all, it’s looking pretty good. Let’s hope I don’t muck it up 🤪!