My Lemons My Lemonade

I Did A Thing…

Note: I promise updates on the moving saga will continue when I close on my current home. I will say that I deserve some good Karma points for allowing (at my suggestion) the new owners to store their stuff in the separate pole barn. Sometimes, I’m too nice for my own good. I say that not as a pat on the back, but more of a “why do I have to be so empathetic that I offer things that cause me unnecessary stress?”. However, in the end, I’ve got to be true to my character. Now in other news…

I did something that I want to explain, not excuse, because I don’t feel bad about it.

As relationships end, anger (and thoughts of revenge) can become a part of your grieving process, especially when a third party is involved. So, I did a thing…

When my ex and I separated, I had returned (per his request) photos of his family, which were separate from our wedding album. Therefore, I ended up with all of the wedding photos and mementos. Since I am moving, I thought I would leave that energy behind and decided to go through all of the pictures and keep the ones of my family and friends, which left a whole lot of others to be discarded. So, I thought that I would be gracious and send him some of the larger “family” photos from our wedding album, i.e., pictures of us at our wedding. And I may have included a note that bandied about the words “gaslighting, manipulative f@#ker” and “duplicitous whore” (I’m quite proud of that one) that I sent last Friday.

Now before I sent it, I shared this note with two people. The first person was my sister, one of my strongest supporters during everything and all she asked was are you sure. When I said I was, she threw her support behind me, even if she might not have agreed with my decision.

The second person was my friend Jake, who rightfully pointed out that I was better than that. And for the most part I am.

But I have taken the high road the time and again over the last three years. When the divorce was imminent, I packed his stuff. I played nice throughout the entire mediation process for our divorce decree even as I stilled suffered with depression. I agreed to allow him to keep the stuff he was getting in the divorce at my house for 5 months – all the while he was house hunting with the other woman. I kept him updated on the health of my dog up until 2020. Until this letter I only referred to the woman who helped to destroy our marriage as mistress. Even before we officially separated, I endured some very unpleasant, and in one case despicable behavior. And still I was (mostly) nice. I just decided it was time to not be nice, hence the letter.

Did I debate about it while standing in line at the post office? Of course I did, but I went ahead and did it anyway because I think everyone deserves one moment of legal, non-violent revenge to close out that chapter of your life. And compared to the other ideas I had in mind (and there were many), this seemed the least likely to get me arrested. So, I sent it and now we are done on my terms.

I tell this story for two reasons. First, if you are the one constantly taking the high road and need some form of ending on your terms that is not illegal, violent or involves children, then I support you. Pick one idea (out of the multitudes you’ve thought of) that will allow you to move on and do it. Second, if you are their support person let them do what they must, just pull them back if the idea violates the illegal/violent/involves children clause. But let them have one moment (whether you agree or not), to let the anger out, especially if they have done nothing but go high.

One low moment does not define you. It only makes you human.

Celebrating Black Inventors

Note: It is my belief that Black History should not be relegated to one month but a part of the everyday curriculum.

Since we are in the midst of Black History Month, I thought it would be a great idea to highlight a few Black inventors who have created inventions that have made life easier, safer and in one case fun.

Lonnie Johnson, a NASA engineer, created a mega water gun in his spare time. That mega water gun became known as the Super Soaker. It earned over a billion dollars in retail sales, according to Forbes magazine in 2017.

Mark Dean is the co-inventor of the IBM personal computer. He also invented the color monitor and his technology enabled printers, keyboards and mice to be plugged into computers, allowing them to communicate, making life a lot easier for users.

Shirley Jackson, a theoretical physicist, used her knowledge in physics to foster advances in telecommunications. While she isn’t credited with a specific invention, her work advanced the field and allowed others to invent everything from fiber optic cables to touch tone phones, portable fax machines, call waiting and caller i.d. She is the first African American woman to receive a Ph.D. from Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Marie Van Britten Brown, who was a nurse by trade, created the first home security system. Patented in 1969, her original design included a camera, two-way microphone, a peephole and monitors, serving as a foundation for today’s home security systems. She is also credited for inventing the first closed circuit television system.

Garett Morgan used his skills to create two products in particular that helped save lives. His first patent came about in response to car accidents caused by two light traffic signals. He designed a three-position traffic signal, inserting a yellow “caution” light to regulate crossing vehicles more safely than previous signals. He also patented his “Breathing Device” in 1912, which would be the pre-cursor to gas masks.

Madam C.J. Walker became a self-made millionaire by creating a hair product line for black hair. Her first product, Madam Walkers Wonderful Hair Grower came out in 1905 and lead to the creation of her empire. You can learn more about her in the Netflix series Self Made.

This is only a sampling of the multitudes of Black inventors that have changed the world with their ideas. They are inspiring and I raise a glass to all.

My Book List Was F’ed Up

Me when I discovered my f’ed up book list
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Currently reading: The Scorpion’s Tale by Preston and Child. This is the second in their newest Nora Kelly series that starts with Old Bones.

Let me start with a little horror story called “My Book List Was F’ed up 😱”. After I complete a book that will go into my library, I add it into two spreadsheets – books read by year and book list, which is a master list of authors in my library. Somehow my master list had several columns shifted upward and I had to go through it for about half an hour fixing the issue, and I’m still not sure it’s correct. I also have no idea how it occurred, and it was a nightmare to contend with as the list has at least 400 rows. I may still have to re-check when I have time. Laugh at my anal retentiveness if you must, but compiling this list took a long time and it still needs to be honed. What can I say? I’m fanatical about my books.

All of this mess was discovered because I finally finished The Mask Falling by Samantha Shannon. I have to admit that I set this book aside for two days because: a) I didn’t want it to end and b) as someone who reads the end, I didn’t like where it was going, so I was not looking forward to it. But I did finally pick it up and as much as I dreaded the ending, I can’t wait for the next one because of the damn cliffhanger! Well, that and I really love her characters, even if the female protagonist makes some questionable choices (in the book, it’s phrased as “following her gut” but that doesn’t always excuse her decisions in my opinion).

After I finished the final page, I quickly pulled up the authors twitter to see if there was news on the next installment. Nothing on that but she was pondering “Why can I not simply… write shorter books”. I would agree with that assessment if I didn’t enjoy the stories so much. Mostly, I never really notice the length as I’m reading (FYI the last one clocked in at 466 pages).

So, if you are interested in a supernatural, dystopian world, initially set in London in the year 2059, I would recommend checking out the first novel The Bone Season (2013). As always if you’re not sure it’s something you want to spend money on, check it out from your local library (shameless plug to support libraries).

I have enjoyed the series thus far (although book three The Song Rising fell a little short of the others) and I can’t wait to for what’s to come next.

Fun Facts About Myself

First some housekeeping:

I want to welcome Stwayne Keubricks Art Shop as a new follower – it is much appreciated. I also encourage my readers to check out the site at https://stwaynekeubrick.wordpress.com.

I also would like to thank those that visit this page. I do not say that lightly as I do value you all and your visits encourage me to continue on this path.

I promise to update you soon on the latest escapades of my move. The other shoe may have dropped but I am waiting to talk about it because I don’t want a domino effect to occur with my current house sale. Trying to keep that shit out of the ether for the moment 😁.

I am starting to hit the next wave of pandemic fatigue. I have been self-isolating a bit too much lately and it is starting to kick up my anxiety level a notch. When that happens, it starts to affect my sleep (and I love my sleep), which then affects my ability to think clearly and my mood when I write.

To counteract that today, I thought I would share some fun (and maybe interesting) facts about myself in an effort distract from the pandemic stress.

Fact 1: I am childless by choice (a topic for another blog) but I have a one wonderful niece and 2 wonderful nephews – 2 adults and 1 toddler. Quite frankly, I love being an aunt. I get the perks of spoiling them without the need to discipline them (mostly – I still respect their parents enough to follow the important rules). But as much as I love and adore the 3 of them, one thing I have never/will never do for them is change a diaper. I have spent 52 years on this planet never having the “pleasure” of changing any diaper and I plan to live the rest of my continuing on that path. And yes, I am proud of that fact 🤣🤣🤣.

Fact 2: I hold a BA in theater (1992) and an MS in Creativity and Innovation (1996). Yes, my master’s degree is real, and I received it from Buffalo State College, which is one of the first degree programs of this type. You can check them out here https://creativity.buffalostate.edu. I almost hesitate to say this given the fact that virtual classrooms and meeting are starting to annoy a lot of people, but they do have a distance learning program if you’re interested.

Fact 3: I have talked in the past about my beautifully crazy dog, but I don’t think I mentioned that she is the fourth sheltie I’ve had in 26 years and that I’ve had dogs steadily since 1995 – not one break. I also have had a horse for 14 years and she is as difficult today as she was day one (and I’ve loved her almost every day of every year 😁). I’ve caretaken animals longer than many parents of adult children – no wonder I’m exhausted.

Fact 4: I almost consistently type knkow instead of know and have for years without ever realizing it as I’m typing. I know (this came out correctly, probably because I was more attuned to it) that I do it and I still type it incorrectly. My fingers have a mind of their own, I think.

Fact 5: Last little fun fact – I have lived in Westminster Colorado (born and mostly raised as I like to say), Erie Pennsylvania, Buffalo New York, Las Vegas Nevada, Knoxville Tennessee, Richmond Kentucky, Pawleys Island South Carolina and Camden South Carolina. With that many locations, you would think I was in the military but no. I have had the opportunity to live in some interesting places, but I always will be a Coloradan at heart. If it just didn’t snow there, I’d go back in a heartbeat.

Those are a few things about me that some of you may or may not have known. And they may give you more insight into my blogs going forward.

As a further stress reliever, check out these cute animal videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRBXjHBv3po

Until next time… 💜

Innovations

I thought this week I would highlight some interesting innovations impacting our world.

Nike Flyease – Nike has created a handsfree fully enclosed shoe perfect for pregnant women in their third trimester, arthritis patients, or those who have lost some or all of the use of their arms—such as stroke victims or injured military veterans. Essentially, it’s a hinged shoe that allows the wearer to slip the shoe on and off without needing bend down and pull/adjust the heal of the shoe. When the hinge is snapped into place the shoe “hugs” your foot. Primarily designed to assist those who have challenges putting on shoes, it could have more mainstream uses in the future. Check it out here https://youtu.be/ZTRsiWa79rY

A group of Scottish scientists, led by Professor Jonathan Shepherd, have created a system of lasers that will melt cancer cells while leaving healthy cells intact by using a series of pulses short enough to melt the cancerous cells while leaving the healthy cells unheated. The process has another 3 years in R&D before clinical testing and will include research into an optical fiber device that can target and kill cancer cells three times smaller than the lasers can remove.

A Kenyan materials engineer, tired of seeing civil servants of Nairobi struggle against plastic waste, has used recycled plastics to create a product 5 to 7 times stronger than concrete. Nzambi Matee, founder of Gjenge Makers, gets dumps of high and low polyethylene for free from local packinging plants. After the plastic polymer is heated and mixed with sand it is formed into a variety of paving stones by the machines Nzambi created for her factory. She has recycled about 20 metric tons since the company opened in 2018. You can learn more about her company here https://gjenge.co.ke

Cheers to these amazing innovators and their creative problem-solving skills.

Confession of a Reformed Book Snob

Reading, in any form, is fundamental
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

“Not all stories speak to all listeners, but all listeners can find a story that does, somewhere, sometime. In one form or another.”
The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Currently reading: The Mask Falling by Samantha Shannon and yes it has been worth the wait. Only 80 pages to go out of 466.

As an avid reader, I would say that for a period of time in my life, I was a snob when it came to certain forms of storytelling in written form. I believed that comic books (graphic novels), as they were known in my youth, couldn’t deliver on a story the way a novel or short story could.

But with the US at a 21% (43 million people) illiteracy/functional illiteracy rate, I realize that was a foolish and snobbish position to take. Any form of storytelling that encourages a person to read has value. Just because a format doesn’t appeal to a person, doesn’t make it any less viable form of storytelling.

I have properly chastised myself for such idiotic thinking (feel free to flog me in the comments section – I deserve it.)

While I have always known that literacy is a problem, I have become more acutely aware of it in the last few years especially when two people in two different industries (auto sales and pest control) told me that they have a hard time hiring because people don’t have basic reading comprehension skills. And that saddens me.

That is why I take back every negative thought I may have had about graphic novels. Any form that encourages a person to read I support. Any form that takes the readers on an adventure I support. And any form that allows readers to discover new ideas or go on a journey of self-discovery, I support.

As the saying goes – Reading IS Fundamental! And that I will get behind every day of my life.

To find ways to get involved go to https://www.rif.org

And Fate Smiled Down on Me Again

Fate
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I really could not write a script like this if my life depended on it. Two weeks ago, I was lamenting over the stress of being 52 and having to move back in with my parents for a month (originally 2 months 😳). Last week, fate had intervened so my time away from my home city was shortened to two and a half weeks – a far cry better than a month but still stressful having to worry about the logistics of what I need to store and what I need to keep with me. But my good fortune apparently continues.

Let me start by saying that if I had known how difficult it would be to sell my house with 58 acres (I carved off 100 acres to sell separately), I never would have let my ex talk me into this insanity all those years ago. Be forewarned – if you have a large amount of acreage with a house and you want to sell, do your homework. Both my wonderful broker and I have had quiet an education in this area.

The people buying my house are caught up in mortgage paperwork hell and we had to re-sign the contract which gave me leverage to say I wanted to stay in my house until my new place was finished, displacing them instead of me. Given the fact I could empathize with them, as they have to be out of their current home by February 15, I almost said I would move out early. Thankfully, my realtor shook some sense into me, and instead, I am considering offering them the use of the large building (upon closing) to store their stuff as it will be their property as soon as I vacate, thus making their move in a little easier. We shall see as the closing date is currently set for the end of the month, with a caveat to close as quickly as possible.

So, my move and moving expenses will become infinitely easier and the feeling like the other shoe is about to drop has lessened greatly. I am now taking the time to appreciate the good fortune that has befallen me in the past month to make this process easier – starting with having my new house finishing earlier, to less displacement time, to no displacement and less expenses as a result.

I send offerings to the Greek goddess Tyche (or Fortuna if you prefer the Roman gods) and to the Fates who chose to favor me throughout this journey and hope that my luck continues to hold. I also bow down to my most amazing realtor – Jeanene Campbell – for her brilliance in negotiations/contract writing and for watching out for me during it all.

Burning and saging my list of misfortunes from 2020 seems be paying off!