My Lemons My Lemonade

Sharing Entertainment That Sparks My Joy

After last week, many may be feeling emotionally overwrought. So I thought this week I would share some suggestions of things to watch or listen to that may cheer you up.

First, I have to start by recommending Zooborns.com. It is videos and stories about animals born all over the world. Adorable and educational. http://Zooborns.com

Movies are next on the list. I cannot recommend “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” (2017) enough. While it does have strong language (Samuel L. Jackson’s in it – need I say more?), this buddy travel comedy has some of the best jokes. If you want a great throwback, might I suggest “Better Off Dead” (1985)? One of John Cusack’s best movies, even if he is not a fan of it. And if you want to go way back, Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) is a movie I watch whenever I can catch it. You can never go wrong with Cary Grant in my opinion.

Next up, TV! I have found this wonderful channel called Ovation on DirecTV that runs older and newer tv shows, usually out of Canada. I have found some great gems on this channel – some that can be found on Netflix. “Republic of Doyle” is a dramedy that ran from 2010 to 2014 (but was somehow 6 seasons?) that I first found on Ovation and binged watched on Netflix. Bonus – the lead actor ain’t to shabby. Another great show that I started watching on Ovation is Frankie Drake Mysteries, which can also be found on PBS. I love a good women empowerment program and it is a current show. Both shows have a great mix of light drama and humor. Google Ovation to find out where you can access it.

The last area I want to make recommendations for is Sirius XM shows and podcasts. Now I’m sure you have your favorites among these outlets but let me add a few to consider. If you are a fan of BravoTV shows, there are two programs I would recommend: Reality Checked with Amy Phillips (Radio Andy Sirius XM 102) and the Watch What Crappens podcast with Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam, which I am late to the game on. Both shows recap many of the Bravo shows and others reality shows, when time permits, and are so humorous that I often find myself laughing out loud. Amy Phillips does fantastic impressions of the Bravolebrities that have left me crying and the tangents the Watch What Crappens guys get on are often hysterical. Each show is serious when necessary (which isn’t too often) but mostly, it is just good (mostly clean) humor. I would also recommend the podcast “Dear Diary You’re Effed” by Hannah Ferrier from Below Deck. In it she revisits her childhood diaries and encourages listeners to share theirs as well. Definitely, different fare from the other two, but fun to listen to, nonetheless.

Now I’m going to ask you to share (in the comments) your favorite movies, shows websites or radio/podcasts that are getting you through the rough days. You never know, your recommendation might bring a smile to someone in need. Peace!

Senate Staff, Aides and Custodians, NJ Congressman Andy Kim, Jose Andres

“Something good comes out of every crisis.”
Dave Pelzer

This is not a political post. But we had an unprecedented event happen in our nation’s capital this week and while the focus has been on all the main players (Congressmen, the President etc.) I felt it was important to acknowledge the other people affected by this event and how they rose to the occasion.

Let’s start with the Senate staffers and aides. First, they were responsible for delivering the ballot boxes to the senate floor before the certification process began. When the chaos broke out, they made sure to secure each box and move them to a safe location and returned them to complete the process. Then they had to stay until the process was complete. They are not paid nearly enough to endure the danger they were faced with or the aftermath, but they nonetheless did their jobs and did them well.

The Senate custodians also deserve a lot of credit for having to pick-up after a mob tried to destroy the capital building. The fact that many of the custodians were Black and picking up after an insurrection of white supremacists was not lost on most. Again, they did their jobs and did them well.

Along with the custodians, I would like to acknowledge NJ Congressman Andy Kim. When he was finally allowed to return to the Capital, he was so upset by the condition of the Capital’s Rotunda that he spent an hour and a half cleaning up. After he finished the Rotunda, he moved on to adjacent rooms. He wasn’t asked to help, he just did. That is the mark of a good person.

Lastly, Jose Andres, who has fed survivors and first responders during natural disasters, as well as pandemic heroes, also found ways to feed the national guard and law enforcement in Washington after the riots on Wednesday and into Thursday morning because he knew they would have limited food options while enforcing curfew.

Let’s raise a glass in their honor for they are heroes/heroines in their own right.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Bibliotherapy

Description: a creative arts therapies modality that involves storytelling or the reading of specific texts with the purpose of healing. It uses an individual’s relationship to the content of books and poetry and other written words as therapy. Bibliotherapy is often combined with writing therapy.

For the last few months, I have been getting an advertisement for a course on bibliotherapy, probably because my feed is happily littered with book memes from the numerous sites I follow. I thought “how interesting” and clicked on the link. The course frequently touted on my feed is an online course, so it is something I may consider doing. The downside, it’s online and I live for in-person class (especially after 2020), because of the interaction among the participants.

I reviewed the course outline and was surprised I had never heard of this concept before. As a constant reader I find a lot of healing in books, as I’m sure many of you do

So, what does this have to do with the epiphany I had while reading The Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero? It was one of the first times I realized that most of my young adult reading centers around groups of friends out to solve a mystery/save the world/stop a crime. I became aware of the fact that I wish I would have had a childhood similar to those in the books I read. I should have prefaced this by saying that I did not have a bad childhood. I had wonderful individual friendships but not many long-term groups of friends that I hung out with. As I dug a little deeper into my psyche, wondering why I didn’t have a core group of friends, I realized that a long time ago a good friend betrayed me within a friend group and I’m not sure I ever trusted the group dynamic again. This had to have happened around age 10 or 11 and her betrayal destroyed some of my relationships and has affected me over the years.

Regular therapy has opened up my mind to making these kinds of connections that I’m sure have been roaming loosely in my sub-conscious but have finally broken the surface allowing me to look at these issues. Bibliotherapy is another layer that I can apply to my own self-awareness.

And that’s why I read so many similar types of books in the young adult genre. Well, that and I do enjoy many of the stories told. They give me the comradery (and adventure) I was seeking at different points in my life. Such is the power of books!

Anxiety Attacks – Aren’t They Just the Most Fun?

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” —Arthur Somers Roche

So aside from battling depression during my divorce, I received another fun gift – occasional crippling anxiety attacks. Yeah!

I have never had noticeable anxiety in my life before two (almost three) years ago. They have definitely been moments of high stress but nothing as fun as waking up in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning (those are when my attacks most often occur), in the middle of an anxiety attack with my brain trying to figure out what’s happening as my body has a physical reaction to whatever is causing the attack . Next comes the round of negative thinking because my brain has finally woken up enough to jump on the anxiety train and I start stressing over every decision I’ve made or need to make in the near future. And I begin to spiral for an hour or two in the middle of the night, because of that lovely little gift called anxiety.

I have a few techniques that I try to get my brain to focus, but it isn’t easy. I know most people recommend trying to meditate. I struggle with meditation because I can never quiet my brain enough. Without an outside distraction my brain just continues to ruminate on whatever it can latch onto in the silence. A Tibetan singing bowl has helped with stress when I’m awake – but not something I want to start in the middle of the night because it will just cause issues with my the cute but certifiably crazy dog I’ve written about.

The techniques I use to try to focus include: saying the alphabet backwards, attaching words to the letters in the alphabet which I say backwards, multiplication or any form of counting, gratitude lists and positive mantras (my latest is “new year, new space, new energy, new me”).

I have also tried CBD gummies which have some effectiveness, but it only lasts about 4 hours. If I take it before bed it usually wears off before my attacks occur. I take some more, but then I have to wait for them to kick in!?!

While each technique has a certain level of effectiveness and I am thankful that the attacks are becoming less frequent. However, I would be happy if they would disappear altogether.

I am also thankful that they have never blossomed into a full-blown panic attack, which carries its own set of challenges.

Therefore, if you feel comfortable, my dear reader, I would like to ask you to talk about the tips or tricks you use to combat anxiety. What works and what doesn’t? Talking about your experience may help a fellow traveler in need.

I also hope that by talking about anxiety and its effects we can minimize some triggers, making one aspect of life a little easier for ourselves.

2021

If ever there was a perfect Lemonade of the Week, shedding 2020 for 2021 is it! Friday, January 1^st, I burned my list of crap that happened then saged the embers to clear out any leftover negative energy from the list (see https://mylemonsmylemonade.com/2020/12/28/how-im-saying-goodbye-to-2020/ for context). I also saged myself in an effort to invite in positive energy for the next year. Moving into a place with no “ghosts” should be a great start.

I also took a moment to be grateful for the good things that happened in my life in 2020. The most important was reconnecting with friends that I had disengaged with over the years due to external pressure. Second to that is my gratitude for the people, both family and friends, who have supported me through the past 2 ½ years of change and struggle.

2021 isn’t going to magically fix all of the challenges that 2020 created, but we can hope for a return of civility and respect. And we can hope for the end of Covid.

May you all have an amazing 2021!

Burning of my craptastic 2020 list, boy did it feel great to watch it go up in flames!

Dark Secrets of an Avid Reader

Current book is still The Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero. I’m halfway through and I’ve had an interesting insight about myself I’ll share next week.

I’m beginning to think I should change the name of this section from “For the Love of Books” to “Dark Secrets of an Avid Reader”.

This week’s dark secret? As an avid reader, a part of me always thinks I could write a book. Over the years I have started a few possible stories and jotted down a few notes, but I’ve never given it a real try.

I find that when I attempt write, I don’t have patience for some of the filler involved in setting the scene (probably because I’ve read some authors who can beat the concept of scene setting to death). I’m a “let’s get straight to the point, who cares about the house the protagonist lives in or what the town she/he is from” kind of person. Even when I read, I tend to skim through this part in an effort to get to the meat of the story. I think I’m a little, for lack of a better word, clinical when I sit down to write – what’s the problem, who’s going to solve it and how? Makes for a very short story, 😆😆😆.

But I think the bigger road blocks I face when writing is probably the same for many others – confidence that I can tell a good story and how to come up with an original idea, particularly one that doesn’t have to have a relationship sub-story. This reasoning has most likely stopped me in my tracks many times. It’s so much easier to convince yourself you can’t do something than to actually believe in the possibility you can.

I do think that blogging has opened up the possibilities for me to overcome my self-imposed challenges.

So maybe 2021, is the time to dust off my notes, put pen to paper and create worlds that people might want to read. And if I don’t succeed, I know that I gave it my best efforts.

NOTE: I had an acquaintance say she didn’t understand how anyone would pay someone to blog (or be a social media influencer) because it didn’t take much effort. Having worked to blog on a consistent basis, I can assure you it is not as easy as it looks.

If you’re looking for some new to pick up in January, check out Barnes and Noble list of most anticipated books for January 2021 (not a complete list of new releases, FYI). https://www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/our-most-anticipated-new-book-releases-of-january-2021/

How I’m Saying Goodbye to 2020

Gift courtesy of my dear friend Rory and CMS Design Studio

Welcome back and happy post-Christmas to you all. Like many I took the holiday off to spend a little time with family, which included being dragged around by my 3-year-old nephew as we played with this toy and that toy. I am proud to say that my gift of wooden building blocks was a big hit!

But now it’s time to return to the work. I know this year has been hard on many people and I truly hope the new year is better for us all. In an effort to create a better energy going into the new year, I kept a list of ridiculous things that happened to me (starting in October of 2019 until current) that I will burn New Year’s Day to clean out the damaging energy in my life.

When I started the list, my therapist was a little leery of my intentions. She had listened to me stress over some of the items (alright most of the items) and thought I might be dwelling on the negative. I assured her that was not the case. I started the list because every time I turned around something else was in need of repair or replacement or was just a ridiculous turn of events that I had to document the hilarious insanity of it all. The following is said list of events that will stay in 2020, so here we go…

Let’s start with my vehicles – that up until recently included two cars (an SUV and a truck), a golf cart, a riding mower and a tractor with a bushhog (which miraculously escaped the year with no need for repair). Almost every piece required some form of maintenance in the past year. The cars and the mower all needed a new battery, the SUV needed new tires, the truck had what was thought to be an AC drain line problem, but actually turned out to be a leaky back window (long story don’t ask) so that money pit got sold to the dealership that found the problem. Then the riding mower just stopped working and when they went to replicate the problem, they couldn’t do it. But it received a much-needed oil change and blade sharpening at least. The golf cart had the main connector wire corrode and had to be replaced or the batteries wouldn’t hold a charge, of course.

Next, let’s talk about the electronic issues. My iMac went wonky on me so after an hour or more on the phone, it was determined that I needed to take it to Charlotte (the closest Apple repair to me – 2 hours away) for what turned out to be a two-minute fix. The problem was embedded so deep in the system the phone agent just couldn’t find it. Next, my back-up drive died and the replacement I bought didn’t work so I had to replace the replacement (again after a long i.t. call) by sending it to the manufacturer. One of my Nest thermostats quit working (replaced for free thankfully), my living room tv died and took out the dvd player and the output plug for the outdoor camera system for good measure. Oh, and one of my hvac units needed two repairs, because of course it did. And let’s not forget that for the first time ever I shattered my phone screen and had to replace it.

Now you’d think that kind of luck would have run its course after all of that. But no, because the good times just kept rolling when I had to replace the salt cell on my pool along with repairing a leak in the equipment. Then I paid my state taxes only to find out that I had paid 2021 by mistake and still owed my 2020 taxes including fines and interest (not to worry, I sorted it out)

To cap off this list of ridiculousness, I got a speeding ticket in the one county that doesn’t negotiate them down to a non-moving violation but does dismiss them if you attend a class, which of course was 1 ½ hours from my home (yes, I took the class). The last time I got a speeding ticket was over 25 years ago! And because breaking inanimate objects wasn’t enough to appease the gods, I severely sprained my ankle and it took weeks before it was somewhat better again (it still flares up to this day).

A list of 20 different problems on top of stay-at-home orders. I think that’s a record for me. I have never in my life had this kind of luck in one year. I hope to never have one like it again either.

I started list because it was too funny not to. I mean how many people have this much go wrong in a little over a year? Especially while still recovering from a cheating ex-husband/divorce. I mean toward the middle of summer it became so absurd that I just had to laugh every time something else went wrong.

And I hope you found humor in the absurdity of it as well, because if we can’t laugh with someone laughing at themselves, who can we laugh at?

I have faith that next year will be better not just for me, but for you my dear reader as well. And maybe help it along by compiling a similar list to burn (safely!) on 1-1-21. Let’s leave that shit behind!

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.”
—Unknown