The Challenge of Gifting Books

What I am reading at the moment – The Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero. Discussion to follow soon.

Well, I might as well say what I really want to about being gifted books for Christmas, or birthdays for that matter, and risk sounding ungrateful (I’m not). I really do not like people gifting me books at all – there I said it, what a relief! 

While I love to give gifts to children to encourage reading, as a general rule I do not buy books for adults. The only exception is if someone mentions a book they want, it goes on the gift option list for them.

I know it sounds odd for an avid reader to say “Don’t get me a book” but I have realized over the years that I am very particular about the books I read and the genre’s I prefer. When I look at my bookshelves, it becomes apparent that certain category’s do not exist in my collection, like historical fiction, romance, or war novels (and my multitude of reading lists back this up). Unless you’ve found a book by one of my favorite authors that I don’t have or I mentioned a book in passing, it is risky business choosing something for me. 

I find that with all of the options there are in the world to read how can one possibly know what someone will read? One of my best friend and I discuss books often and we rarely read the same things. Our tastes are just very different, and I would hesitate to get her a book because of this (although to be honest her tastes are wider ranging than mine).

While I’m not trying to discourage you from giving the gift of reading, I am suggesting you talk to the person you plan to gift with a book. Chances are they have a list (I know I do) so that you aren’t wasting time, money and energy on a book that may sit unread. Bookstore gift cards, in this case, are probably a better option. It might encourage someone to pick up that book they’ve been wanting but haven’t had the money for. 

However you choose to promote reading this holiday season is wonderful. I’m just asking you consider this point of view when standing in a bookstore trying to decide on the perfect book for your constant reader.

PS – donating new books for local book drives is a great way to give the gift of reading.

Note: As Christmas is two days away, let me say Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Best Wishes for Kwanzaa, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad and to any celebrations I am unaware of I wish only happiness for you this season.

I Love A Mama’s Boy

I admit that I have dabbled in more than a few reality TV shows – mainly Bravo fare. I have watched Real Housewives of Orange County, Beverly Hills, New York and Dallas since their first seasons, even though one or two have been a struggle the last few years. I watch because I am quite fascinated from an anthropological standpoint. And reading/listening to recaps just adds to the wonderment of it all.

This year I was intrigued enough by the ads to watch TLC’s latest fare – I Love a Mama’s Boy. While only 8 episodes long, featuring 4 couples and the BF’s mothers, I was gob smacked (seems like the most appropriate term to use) by the utter dysfunction of the relationships shown! And yet I could not turn away. I missed the first two weeks (I might be thankful for that) but what I did watch was really a mixed bag of strangeness. In one story, a couple was living with the BF’s mother and a garage/building that was probably 100 feet from the main house was going to be converted into a smaller house for the couple. The mother insisted that she was going to need a bedroom in the new house so that she could sleepover. Then there was the time when she had her son practice his upcoming proposal on her. Not talk about what he was going to say, he had to get down on one knee and actually propose to his mother as if she was the GF! And she thinks that’s normal.

Another poor girl (who I should note comes from a different culture than her BF) was trying to get along with her BF’s mother and baked a cake for her birthday. The mother insisted the GF was trying to poison her and threw her out of the house. In a later episode the BF, who still lives at home, asked that his mother give the GF a chance and have lunch to get to know her better. Mom agrees but shows up with a date for her son. To make it more interesting – the new girl had no idea that the son already has a GF. She was smart enough to quickly exit once she realized what was going on. 

And all of these instances barely scratch the surface of dysfunction that occurs throughout the series!

The whole time I watched, the same thoughts kept going through my head: 1. You actually agreed to go on this show? 2. Did you really think the majority of people would think this was normal? 3. Specifically to the mothers – did you think people would side with you if you went on tv and showed your craziness? I really didn’t think it would really be as unsettling as it was. Check it out for yourself if you’re so inclined…

Will this turn me off of reality tv? Of course not. As I said before, it really is a study in human behavior. The drama and dysfunction are just a bonus. 

Note: The only show I have ever thought I would be on is the Amazing Race especially in the earlier days. This last season was a bit of a bust for me, but I hope next season will be better. 

P.S occasionally discussion of reality tv will slip in, it’s just a part of what makes me, me.

Frank the Christmas Gargoyle and his owner Vicki

Lemonade of the week is designed to toast something good happening in the world. A story, an event, or a person that adds joy or humor to a stressful day.  And that is why Frank the Christmas Gargoyle along with his owner Vicki receives a tip of the glass this week.

Frank’s legend started as a way to troll a Grinch giving his owner a hard time for not being a Christmas decoration and that Frank should be moved indoors. In an effort to play nice, Vicki decided to decorate Frank because he is too heavy to move.

Isn’t he festive?

But that only enraged the troll, and she continued her grinchy ways, leaving passive aggressive notes. Vicki trolled her back every time she left a note (and sometimes when she didn’t), by adding more and more festive decorations, using humor to let the troll know she doesn’t get to dictate how people’s homes should look for the holidays.

Frank the Christmas Gargoyle is the gift you didn’t know you needed. Maybe there is a story to be found in his adventures. Follow him on Facebook at Frank the Christmas Gargoyle and be sure to read the all the captioned photos to read the entire story. You will not regret it 😁😁. I know I had a wonderful, gut busting laugh over it. And you will get a master class in how to properly troll a troll. 

By the way, Gargoyles are Christmassy just by the fact they are usually found guarding churches.

Give Me Hard Copy Books or Give Me Nothing At All!

Ok, I’m being a little (lot?) dramatic, but I almost always read paper copy books, preferably hardcovers. Secondary to that is paperback novels and that’s usually because it’s the medium that was chosen for the book. Recorded books are a no go, mostly because of the list below, but also, if I’m listening to something I like to work on a project. But, I can’t multitask and follow the story at the same time. That leaves e-readers, and I am not a fan. The only occasions where I have read on an e-reader is when Stephen King (my favorite author) has presented the material in that format and I think that happened twice.

I know saying I’m not a fan of e-readers is controversial, but I have very specific reasons for my preference so hear me out.

First, I read the last few pages of a book after I have started it (let the flogging begin 😁). I know that is a sin to many readers. However, I like to know if the characters I love survive until the end, I want to know if I can figure out the story based on the ending (I have on occasion) and honestly, I just want to read the ending (usually three or four pages). I’ve done it my entire life as a reader and don’t plan to stop now, so don’t try to convince me otherwise my dear fellow readers – although I willing to bet, I’m not the only one to do this.

Second, If the story starts to lag and I’m losing interest, I will pick a random page that I have not read yet and scan a paragraph or two so that it will pique my interest to get to that point in the book. And it usually works!

(Basically, I have no patience and I like to spoil it for myself and only myself. If reading this way is wrong, then I don’t want to be right 🤷🏼‍♀️).

Third, when I’m getting tired or have to put my book down for some reason, I like to page a head and find a break point, where a thought or “scene” (for lack of a better word) ends so I can put the book down when needed. This works most times, but there are some authors that will go on and on before a break occurs. When that’s the case, I just have to find a page that ends in a period – I don’t like stopping mid page unless there is a triple space in-between indicating a shift in direction in the next paragraph.  Stephen King is really good at building in these kinds of breaks but then kills me with the end of a chapter because it’s usually a cliff hanger and I have to keep reading but I have to find a stopping point and AAAARRRRGGGGHHH…. Ok, I’m back from the brink.

Lastly, you can’t go to an author’s reading to collect autographed copies or seek them out online or in old bookstores. I mean, that’s part of the fun for me.

Also, I love a good bookmark. And what about the smell of books? You just can’t get that from a computer. You can, however, get it as a fragrance (https://demeterfragrance.com/paperback.html),

which I plan to do once settled into my new home in the new year.

The long and short of it is that paper books spark joy in me. And if e-books or recorded books are your source of happiness then I say read on.

As always happy reading!

Hippolyta

“For so much of my life, I’ve been shrinking. When I was a kid I thought I was big enough to name anything in this world…By the time I met you I’d already gotten so small. And I thought you knew how big I wanted to be. I thought you saw me.”  –Hippolyta Freeman, Lovecraft Country, S. 1 Ep. 7 – I Am

First, if you have not watched Lovecraft Country you are missing out. I think this is one of the first show that has caused me to think about my place and role in this world. And I don’t say that lightly.

Set in 1954/1955 the themes of racism and misogyny drive the story. Events set only 14 years before my birth. It still astounds me to this day, 65 years later, these issues are still prevalent in our society.

However, this post is going to have a smaller focus. It’s about the quote above and the impact it had on me when I heard the words uttered by Hippolyta Freeman. 

A large part of the episode is devoted to Hippolyta Freeman and a journey that I wish I could physically take myself. I know this sounds vague, it’s by design.  I don’t want to give away spoilers.  I also don’t know if I could adequately put into words how her adventure shaped her. I recommend watching this episode in particular to understand how powerful the writing is in it. The quote is so profound to me, that I was compelled to write this post and to also add it to my list of quotes.

In my first post, I discussed how my life changed irrevocably in 2018.  Since then, I have been working with my amazing therapist to recover what I have lost of myself as a result of the end of a 22-year marriage.  I have been struggling to find my individuality. So, when I watched this episode, it struck a chord with me. And when Hippolyta spoke of shrinking to fit into the world’s view of how she should be, I realized that she was speaking my truth. I had allowed myself to shrink into the image that my ex-husband wanted and I forgot about myself and my own dreams. At first, I thought he saw who I really was. But as time went on, his career and dreams grew and changed him, changed us. I slowly began to shrink into a role I hadn’t expected. I think it happens to a lot of us, the almost invisible process of bending to the will of a person, a group or a community to fit in. To not start a fight or become a target. Go along to get along. My world had become small. And now I need to find ways to expand my it, through travel and discovery. To never bend away from the wind but stand strong against it. To become me again. 

I hope to encourage you to do the same. 

Note: When I watched this episode, one thought that kept running through my head was that a woman had to have written this. So, I was not surprised to learn I was correct. Kudos to Misha Green, show creator and writer for an amazing episode. And to Matt Ruff, author of the novel Lovecraft Country, for the source material.

Nemonte Nenquimo

Nemonte Nenquimo, mom, indigenous person and activist extraordinaire, is an incredibly accomplished woman at the age of 34. As co-founder of the Ceibo Alliance, she succeeded in saving 500,000 acres of Waoriani Territory in the Amazon rainforest in Ecudor by taking the fight against big oil to the courts and securing a win with a landmark court ruling.

Then, while participating in the court battle, she simultaneously assisted communities in remaining independent of the oil companies by helping to install rainwater harvest systems and solar panels, supported a woman-led cacao and chocolate production business and secured training for Waorani youth to be filmmakers so that they can document the activism in their community, creating powerful images for the digital campaign against the sale of indigenous lands to oil companies.

Because of her efforts in land preservation for indigenous people, she was awarded the Goldman Environmental Prize a.k.a the “Green Nobel”. She has also been recognized by Time Magazine’s One Hundred Most Influential People of 2020.

A toast (with lemonade of course) in honor of this inspiring woman. May we all find a way to do good in this world like she has.

If wish to follow their work, you can find them on FB under Alianza Ceibo or at their website https://www.alianzaceibo.org

December Recommended Reads from B&N and Penguin Random House

Battleground has been finished and awaits placement among its companions (after cataloguing of course). I was thrilled with the ending because my favorite character survived, which given that he’s the lead should be the case, but that doesn’t always hold true these days. More importantly the ending indicated that there is another book in the series on the horizon and I couldn’t be happier.

So, with the completion of Battleground, my book count for 2020 is 14. Rick Riordan’s the Tower of Nero is next up, so I’ll have a shot at adding at least one more to the list before year’s end.  Updates to come.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am on a lot of publisher’s/bookseller’s email lists and with the holidays coming soon the emails are coming fast and furious. I get reading recommendation emails all the time, so I thought I would pass some on to you my dear readers in the hope that you will find a good read for yourself or a great gift for someone you love. But if you find it hard to choose a book for someone gift cards are also available at many a bookshop or at www.bookshop.org, a great new online platform helping independent bookstores compete with the likes of Amazon.

Barnes and Nobles New and Notable 2020 Book of the Year and Finalists: 

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments by Aimee Nezhukumatahil

Accidentally Wes Anderson by Wally Koval

Leave The World Behind by Rumaan Alam

Pieometry: Modern Tart Art and Pie Design for the Eye and Palate by Lauren Ko

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You: A Remix of The National Book Award-winning Stamped from the Beginning by Jason Reynolds

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May (I think I may need this 🤪)

Penguin Random House December recommended reads:

The Kingdom by Jo Nesbo

A Promised Land by Barrack Obama

The Cousins by Karen M McManus

Bag Man by Rachel Maddow and Michael Yarvitz

Missionaries by Phil Klay

A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir

The book I loved this year: The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern – To me, this book was a love letter to readers written three dimensionally. I read her first novel The Night Circus and it too was a read of the year for me as well. 

I hope something in the lists inspires you! Check them out online to read the descriptor because it might not be your cup of tea and that’s ok. Or, if you’re a book buyer like me and not sure you want to buy it, the local library is a great alternative 😊😊.

Until next time, happy reading!

Sorry for the formatting – still learning please be patient