My Lemons My Lemonade

I Didn’t Make “Good Choices” Last Night 🤪

Exactly how my ceiling fan is 😁.
Photo by Curtis Adams on Pexels.com

Ok, my choices last night weren’t inherently bad – maybe just ill conceived 😁. It started while I was messing with my fan light (good choice, you’d think). One of the lights has been flickering on and off since the weekend but wasn’t burnt out. So, I thought “Maybe I should check to see if the light is loose?”. Don’t worry, the lights were off – no singed fingers here 🖐. Also, the fan was turned off, so I didn’t get injured by the blades either 😜. I uncrewed the cap holding the dome cover in place and brought it down to rest on the pull chains (I was not going to mess with taking the nobs off the chain), tightened the bulbs and then it all went downhill from there. First, I could not line up the cap with the threads to replace the dome! I spent ten minutes fighting with the damn thing before my arms wore out and I let the dome rest in the previous spot while I took a five-minute break. And then I looked down 😮. For some reason, it never occurred to me to clean the dome out before letting it sit unevenly on the chains 🤦‍♀️. I was covered not only in dust bunnies but dead bugs, as was the floor 🤢. So, my five-minute are break turned into a cleaning frenzy, lest one of those bugs was not completely dead 😱. GROSS!!!!! And I had to do it twice as more bugs fell during the second (and final 😁) attempt to put the dome back in place (nope – still didn’t think to clean it out 🙄 😆).

With order restored, I settled in for my evening tv programs. First up – Below Deck Med. Relatively innocuous and just good old fashioned, dumb ass drama 😁. Then I switched over to sMothered on TLC (another example of not making “good choices”). I’m not sure why I am drawn to these incredibly dysfunctional shows – something about “hate watching” I suppose. Or gratitude that I have a sane relationship with my mother compared to these women 😮‍💨. And there is one mother daughter duo that well… I’m just going to say it – it’s plain weird and slightly disturbing 😳. But the whole show is like a train wreck that I can’t turn away from 🤷‍♀️.

Once that was over, I should have gone to bed. But noooo, I decided that watching “Phrogging – Hider in My House” was a good idea. It wasn’t. As a single woman, who lives alone, this is a terrible show to watch!! And, Goddess help me I couldn’t stop myself (🫣🫣). I watched two and a half episodes before I realized how late it was. The stories are frightening and now I feel like I have to check out my attic to make sure no one is making themselves at home up there 😱😱😱. Ok, not really, because a) I’m home most of the time and would hear someone moving around and b) I don’t think anyone could survive the heat of summer in my attic 😆😆. It still worries me a little bit because these “phroggers” are crazy 😬.

So that was my night of bad choices and I’m ok with it (mostly – that phrogging show 😳). I can’t always make good choices but at least I’m the only one affected by these bad ones 😆😆.

Share you “bad choices” in the comments 😁.

Time for Another Book Post – YAY?

When we last left off, the next book on my list was Providence by Caroline Kepnes. Not bad, but not one I plan to keep 🤷‍♀️. For me it was just ok – but that’s me, others of you may enjoy thoroughly enjoy it, especially if you’re a fan. I just like most of my questions answered by the end of the book and I was left wanting in that area. Of course, I’m the type who wants everything answered by the author 😁. Probably why I read a lot of murder mysteries…

Next, I picked up another Ollies bargain Truly, Madly, Deadly by Hannah Jayne. Now this one I had figured out pretty early on but kept reading anyway. While I enjoyed the characters, some of the plot points just annoyed me. There seems to be this trend in entertainment, where young people (teens, mostly) seem to think they can tell no one in authority (parent, cop, etc.) when they receive ominous messages. Is that really how young people think, or is the writer taking the easy way out? Such is the case with this book and the female protagonist had to be saved by a guy. Can women please be allowed to save themselves, please?

In an effort to plow through my Ollies book collection, I started The Fallen Architect by Charles Belfoure. Noticed that I said started. I got about ten pages in and realized it was a period piece, which I am not a fan of (unless it has a supernatural element). Don’t ask me why but I cannot explain my aversion to many period pieces. And had I known that from the book description, I might not have bought it. But, instead of giving up completely, I put it back on the pile and chose another. The winner? The Body Lies by Jo Baker and I’ve got to say another mixed review from me. I liked the main story arc with the unnamed protagonist, but the point where she becomes a professor of creative writing, it veers into different “voices” as students are required to “read” there work in class. I found it tiresome to keep jumping between different stories and when one student “writes” a complaint that turns out to be about 15 pages of this book, I was just about done with it. So, I had to cheat read my way through the back half, finding the more salient points to read allowing me to finish up in record time with a pretty good idea of the story. Of course, I read the climax and dénouement from beginning to end, but the rest…. Life is too damn short and there are too many books to not read in a way that works for you or to just not read something at all. Just my opinion 🤷‍♀️.

In an effort to change direction from my bad book picking as of late, I went to the library, and I now have two weeks to work through The Boss Witch by Ann Aguirre or The Last White Man by Mohsin Hamid. I’m leaning toward the witch book, as I’ve had a penchant for magical realism books lately. I’ll let you know how it goes 😁.

And, of course, there is the new Stephen King novel Fairy Tale which comes out September 6^th. A must read for a fan like me 😊. I also have to dive into Hitting the Mark by my amazing therapist, Dr. Markesha Miller (shameless plug for her 😉). If interested, you can find it at Amazon.

Those are my recent reads – hope you are having better luck than I 😁.

Disclaimer: Just because I didn’t enjoy those books, doesn’t mean you won’t. Don’t let anyone sway you from reading something your interested in, including me 😊.

Not a Recap – I Love a Mama’s Boy S.3 Ep.9

New week, new episode so let’s jump right in 😁.

Mom Laila, Shekeb, and Emily: this week might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back for all involved. Laila decides to test Emily yet again by bringing Yusura to dinner to show that Emily will react badly and Shekeb will finally break up with her. And Yusura goes along with this ridiculous plot (SMH) which negates any good will I was going to extend to her. And Emily takes the bait once again 🙄. To be fair, she was expecting Shekeb’s father and neither of them were told he wasn’t coming, but that Yusura was Laila’s plus one instead. So, Emily was blindsided by the woman his mom has chosen for him at a dinner meant to build bridges with his parents. It was wrong and it was rude. It devolves into a huge argument, with Emily responding poorly to the whole situation, Shekeb blaming Emily for the entire mess and him leaving to go home to mama 🤯🤯. He claims that Emily disrespected his mom by talking about sex, which is taboo in his culture. But glazes over the fact that his mom was undermining Emily and disrespecting her. Now, I don’t think that Emily should have reacted as poorly as she did, but I understand it. If she had held it together better, she would have proven Laila wrong and won the night. Unfortunately, her poor anger management skills got the best of her. I don’t think these two are good together, but I wish Laila had given her a fair shot.

Mom Esther, Ethan, and Leyna: Leyna finally has a sit down with Ethan about setting boundaries with his mom again. And she isn’t being unreasonable: tone down the sexual comments towards his mom (it’s really creepy 🫣) and lay off the constant compliments of Esther esp. when he doesn’t complement her (he does go over the top with his mom). To his credit Ethan agrees and says he loves her and wants to make her happy. And then he fesses up to a huge mistake he made. When he went dress shopping with his mom, he encouraged her to get a “second look” for the night. He now realizes that would upstage Leyna on their wedding day as she is preparing to change into another look for the wedding and should be the only one doing so. This is on Ethan but it looks like Leyna will be the one to have to tell Esther that’s not happening. Next we find ourselves at a pool party at Esther’s house with family and friends where Esther and Ethan start acting weird again. So much so that some voice is heard yelling get a room 🤢. Even Ethan’s childhood friend comments on how over the top and uncomfortable it is. And now they are playing “baby, baby” in the pool talking to him like an infant, something she’s done since he was two (she does it with all her children but I’m not sure it makes it less weird 🤔). He’s 31 😬. Again, this weird dynamic has been going on so long that Ethan doesn’t think it’s weird despite all the people side-eyeing him. Leyna is all the way over their behavior at this point. It’s sad that Esther doesn’t understand that she is ruining his relationship with Leyna, who loves like a mom. I’m not sure if Leyna is going to make it down the aisle if something doesn’t change.

Mom Kelly, Matt and a mystery woman: Matt was so pissed that Brittany “ambushed” him with her friend/manager that he blocked her everywhere, like any mature adult would do 🙄. He acts like such a child. But the real reason for his outlandish response becomes clear in this episode – he was seeing someone else while telling Brittany they were exclusive. Such a tool 😡!!! Brittany knew something was wrong and it explains his explosive behavior at the lunch. At least Kelly has empathy for Brittany and advises he apologize, which will be hard to do since he blocked her on everything 😜. And she I hope she tells him to go to hell 👿. I personally wonder if Matt was using Brittany to make his mom more amenable to the woman he is really dating, even though he proclaims the mystery woman – Devin is the one and it doesn’t matter what anyone, including his mom thinks, so there! Interestingly enough they met in 2019, while he was with Kim and if not for the pandemic, would Kim and Matt have broken up sooner? Turns out Devin is older with 2 teenage sons and mama ain’t happy about that. But Matts sticking to his guns on this. I wonder if she’ll make an appearance or not this season. Either way, I’d be glad to get rid of him for next season. On the other side of the story tonight is Brittany, who discovered Matt’s mystery woman and she’s pissed. And I am team Brittany on this one esp. because I don’t think she would have slept with him if she weren’t sure she was in a committed relationship. It looks like there is going to be a showdown between the two, but we’ll have to wait and see…

Mom Lorinda, Tre, and Abbey: Looks like Tre (who is 29 btw) is trying to get more people on his side in the whole boundaries issue Abbey has with his mom. He fails miserably 😆😆. He keeps saying he needs his mama and in the end they tell him “You can’t marry you’re mama” (I am DEAD 😵 🤪). I’m sorry to say but Lorinda has failed him by not teaching him how to be an adult. And at 29, when you consistently put your relationship with your mom ahead of your partner, something is going to have to give. And this week it does – Abbey moves out! Tre comes home to find her packing and they sit down for the on-camera conversation about breaking up. I say this because they were too calm during this whole talk, so I suspect that they had the crying break-up off camera. Abbey was so generous to say that she wants to co-parent with him and maintain a great relationship for their son, which he agrees with. I think this is the most mature he has been in this relationship. And I don’t dislike Tre, I think he is a good person. He just doesn’t have his priorities straight. I feel sad for Abbey, but it really is the best thing for her since he refuses to have a grown-up relationship with her.

To recap: Team Abbey, Leyna, and Brittany. I want to root for Emily but she just makes it so damn hard.

Until next week…

I Nearly Lost My Mind This Weekend 😳

Welcome to another episode of Charleen’s Broken Brain – Sensory Overload edition 🤪

A few years ago, I was introduced to a concept known as Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). As I began to research the disorder, I realized there is a very good chance it is something I have lived with for years 😮! I spoke to my therapist, who was not surprised by this discovery (she’s so smart 💜).

In short, it means my senses can get overwhelmed by certain stimuli, i.e. food and fabric textures, strong odors, certain types of lighting (esp. a strobe effect), loud noises etc. or a lot of stimuli at once. While I have coping mechanisms for most things, one that challenges me the most (and explains soooo much) is large, loud crowds, especially indoors where the sound has nowhere to go, so to speak (SHUDDER). Add a ton of strong, competing smells to the mixture and you might as well shoot me where I stand (just kidding, mostly) And since the pandemic/quarantine my ability to navigate these situations has gotten worse 😬.

Case in point – My friend and I took a sort of “road trip” for the day yesterday. We started off at the Barnes and Noble in Florence (my safe space 😁) and then ventured out to other stores. And there were a lot of people there 😳. I managed, but I could tell it was having an effect on me, especially once the smells emanating from the giant pretzel shop hit me. I have never been able to walk past those in my life without wanting to vomit at the smell 🤢. And tire shops are just as bad. But we finished up our mall adventure and went someplace nice and calm to eat – it even had smooth jazz playing softly in the background 🎶. Senses calmed, we proceeded to our next stop – Sam’s Club – which thankfully wasn’t that busy 😮‍💨. Lastly, and unfortunately for me, my friend had been dying to check out the new Buc-ee’s that had opened recently (it’s billed as a “convenience store” – but it has a lot going on inside, as some of you may know). Thankfully, I had set a time limit before we went in because it was rough in there for me. Not only a convenience store/gas station but it also offers fresh bbq, a homemade fudge counter, clothing, stuffed animals, and fishing gear (I only know that because I was trying to find a space with fewer people away from all overwhelming bbq and sweets smells 😜). And the noise – oof. A cacophony of voices pierced every so many minutes by a guy yelling about the fresh meat, with the crowd responding in chorus. We were inside for about 35 minutes, and I couldn’t leave fast enough 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️. And it’s not a bad place, but when you are like me and have that much overload on your senses, you can feel assaulted by it all (probably shouldn’t have gone on the weekend – lesson learned)

And with by coping mechanism for situations like this broken, it makes it tough to navigate. It’s also most likely why I’m reclusive at times. I’m going to have to fix that, or at least learn to strengthen my tolerance for those situations.

So, if someone you know struggles in situations like these, understand that it really might affect them and give them grace if they choose to leave early or not attend. Just a little friendly advice from me to you 😊.

A Story For Another Day…

Remember when I said I would get better about following up with stories alluded to in other posts? This is me doing on just that for the second time in about as many weeks (please, hold your applause 😜). Some days I amaze myself 😇.

This is follow-up to my world domination post where I mentioned being tied to my ex by one more string that I don’t actually want to cut 😁.

As most of you know, upon retirement, you receive money from social security, with different amounts depending on what age you retire/apply for social security at – 70 being the maximum benefit (they really want people in the US to work until they are dead 🙄). Now, some people also know that if you have been married at least 10 years, you get half of your spouse’s social security (SS) upon his application of benefits. This is important for people who made significantly less than their spouse or was a stay-at-home spouse, for whatever reason (in my case, at the insistence of my ex, who then used it against me, the a🤬🤬hole).

However, what you may not know, is that if you re-marry, you will not be eligible for that benefit (not sure if this affects those whose spouse died). And if you have an ex-spouse who contributed the full amount to their SS because of an exorbitant salary, those benefits will be significantly higher than most. So, you have to ask yourself, is getting married again worth it in the long run? Or would a non-legal commitment ceremony be your best bet? Given that you’re actually in a relationship, of which I am not at the moment. Although, to be honest, I haven’t even tried to date since the divorce 😜.

In any case the latter would make more sense for me because half of his SS would be a lot more than what my current amount is calculated at. And after spending half of my life with him at the time of the divorce, I think I am just going to hold on to that little piece of him for my own benefit. It’ll be a nice supplement to my investment income and a small bit of revenge served cold.

A lady has to have something to look forward to, right?

I Have Husky Hair… SIGH…

This is about the color of my hair 😁
Photo by Albina ChamonixDeus on Pexels.com

So, one thing most of you don’t know about me is that during the pandemic I finally stopped dying my hair. After over twenty years of coving my grey/white hair I’d had enough! And, ironically, most people think I dyed it this color as it is a current trend (all-natural baby 😁). But I’m lucky in that my new natural color is quiet lovely (phew 😮‍💨).

Another thing most of you (including close friends) aren’t aware of is that I have my hairdresser practically shaving my head now 😮! As of today, she used a razor with a #3 blade on top and zero blade on the side (yep it’s that short 😊). And I love it! I have had so many complements, mostly from women, who love the short look. I think I may have convinced one woman to do it herself, but gradually like I did – it’s a lot for someone to do all at once! I’ve had a few men comment, but I find that many men I’ve known over the years have a weird obsession with long hair. Of course, they’re not the ones who have to stand under a dryer for 30 plus minutes in the heat of summer, but I digress. Side note: my ex was one of those long hair junkies – something about grabbing it during sex 🤮. Not that I would let him – that shit hurts 😡.

So, what does that have to do with having husky hair? Well, aside from the color and shortness, my hair seems to have gotten increasingly thicker and coarser 🙄. Once my hair starts to grow out from this cut, it will feel like I have an undercoat 😆. Even this short, you can see how thick it is and the amount of water it holds, outrageous. Ergo, I look like I have a husky living on my head 😁.

When it comes right down to it though, I love my look, husky hair and all 😊. Because I am so much cooler in the summer, it takes less time to get ready in the morning, does not require a blow dryer (YAY) and I ROCK THIS STYLE!

Therefore, if you are thinking about taking the plunge and cutting back your hair, I say go for it! Big steps or little do what makes you happy. And in the end, it’s only hair – it’ll grow back. If it’s like mine, it will take not time at all 😜.

Self-deprecation – it’s what I do best!

Not a Recap – I Love a Mama’s Boy S.3 Ep.8

Sorry for the delay, I’ve been a little distracted this week and also suffering writers block. I hope to push through for the rest of the week – we shall see 👀.

Before I dive into the highlights of this episode, I have to say I watched the first episode of sMothered and there were things I can’t unsee after that 😳. Definitely not for the faint of heart. I may bow out of this season as the ick factor in s.4 ep.1 was off the charts 💹. We’ll shall see…

But we are here to talk about I Love a Mama’s Boy, so let’s get to it 😁.

Mom Kelly, Matt, and ???: So, after Kelly confronted Brittany at her work, and decided Brittany wasn’t good enough for Matt, he started to “distance” himself from Brittany. But they are getting together for lunch to discuss things. Little does Matt know, Brittany’s “work mom” aka her boss is joining them so that she can interrogate him like his mom interrogated Brittany – twice. To say it doesn’t go well would be a huge understatement 😆. He thinks it’s inappropriate and while he agrees to answer some (slightly probing) questions, he just gets more and more defensive. I actually thought he would throw a tantrum like a 2-year-old. I especially liked when he kept avoiding Brittany’s question about if he was seeing someone else 🤔. Inquiring minds would like an answer (also the reason for the ??? up front). And while no fit was thrown in the restaurant (like he did with Kim last season) he does walk out without so much as a goodbye because he is so insulted 🙄. And then he calls his best friend, or as we like to call her – mom, to vent about what happened. He didn’t have a big problem and even defended his mom from her barging into Brittany’s workplace, but this was inappropriate?!? Give me a break 🤮. I need him off this show for next season. As a side note, he was really trying to play off that he wasn’t calling his mommy to tell on Brittany, he was calling his best friend 😒(and I’ve got just the bridge in Brooklyn if you need one 😜). All women – just say no to Matt (and by extension – Kelly)!

Mom Esther, Ethan, and Leyna: Esther and Leyna meetup with some other women to play tennis as it’s Esther’s “full time job”. I put it in quotes, because besides being a tennis coach (which is not what she said she was), I’m not sure what else she is doing. Just sounded fishy to me, but that’s my opinion. And Esther is still trying to justify her invasion of the bachelorette party to the other women present. Just stop – you were wrong, apologize and move on! Leyna decides it’s time to set boundaries, and even though she’s going to try to be as gentle as possible because she doesn’t want to hurt Esther’s feelings, she knows Esther will still be offended. All she asks is that Esther stop flirting with Ethan (something I’m sure she never thought she would say in her lifetime) and of course Esther disagrees 🙄. Lady, let his future bride be number one in his life! Why is that so hard for most of these women? And, let’s not forget, she’s got three other son’s and a husband, can’t you get what you need from one of them? I think next season we will see Ethan’s twin and his girlfriend fighting the same battle 😆. So, what does Esther do with this request? Runs to Ethan to complain and get the ruling over-turned. How old are these people?!? One cries to his mommy (Matt), and one (Esther) asks the other “parent” (making an analogy here 😁) to overrule the decree of the other. So, they joke about it while dress shopping for Esther’s wedding dress – or two, because she’s having an outfit change thanks to Ethan (enter unsuspecting bridal shop employees confused by this duo). To be fair, Ethan is a clothing designer (for men), but he does have a designer’s eye so it makes sense he would help – maybe? I’m curious to see when the real blowup is coming between the three of them and whose side Ethan will take 👀? Yes, we all know it should be Leyna’s but this is a mama’s boy, so it’s a toss-up🤷‍♀️.

Mom Nancy, Robert, and Kristy: The moment of truth has arrived – the paternity results are in! Drumroll please 🥁🥁🥁 (hey it’s the best I could do on paper 😆). Robert YOU ARE THE FATHER 🎉. Ok, I didn’t doubt it for a minute, but Robert’s relief at the results has Kristy asking him if he thought it would go differently 😬. I do think that Robert’s mom caused him a nugget of doubt (I mean she was really pushing this theory), but overall, I think he is glad to prove his mother wrong. He is also realizing how truly damaging this has been to his relationship with Kristy. So they print out the emailed results, which were several pages long, and head over to Nancy’s. Now, by a show of hands 🙋‍♀️, how many people think Nancy will accept the results? I see many of you don’t think so 😆. And you would be right, and there will be no apology for Kristy only declarations that she forged the paperwork (seriously have you ever seen all the data that’s sent? It can be extensive.) and that she tracked down her daughters “real father” and submitted his DNA. To be clear, they showed Robert taking the test and mailing it on camera. But Nancy is going to die on this hill that Robert’s youngest daughter isn’t his just because she doesn’t “look like him”. And my heart breaks for Kristy, no one deserves to be treated the way she is 💔 😔. The ball is now in Robert’s court – will he go low/no contact with mom, or will he and Kristy split? They can’t keep living this way and if Nancy is going to continue to demonize Kristy, she may decide it’s time to protect herself and her daughters from Nancy.

Mom Laila, Shekeb, and Emily: on the topic of people who need to be off this show, let’s finish up this “not a recap” with these people. After Emily realized that Shekeb really is her “soulmate” 🙄, she resolves to make things better with Laila (hah – like that’ll happen 🤪). To that end, she invites Laila and her husband over for dinner. See making nice. For some reason, Shekeb thinks she should make dishes from his culture to impress his mom. Emily says maybe, but it might be nice if she made dishes from her culture. Laila accepts but we find out later that Shekeb’s father, whom we haven’t seen since season 1 (smart man is staying as far away from this as possible). And we find this out when Laila invites Yusura out for a walk and to sub in for her husband at Emily’s dinner. This is where Yusura may become a bit of an asshole for agreeing to this plan. Laila is hoping that by surprising Emily with Yusura, her behavior will be so atrocious Shekeb will have to break up with her. And then Yusura can slip right in and fill that void. I’m not sure what Yusura is thinking, but we shall see how it plays out. And I’m still trying to figure out how Shekeb has never met Yusura (or even heard of her) before this show, as she sees Laila as a second mother?!? I’m beginning to think there are some shenanigans going on with this storyline 🤔. Therefore, they can exit through the gift shop. I don’t need manufactured stories on my dysfunctional shows 😜.

Until next week…

Don’t forget to click the tag at the bottom for more “not a recap” of Mama’s Boy.