My Dog is Certifiably Crazy

Let me start with by stating that I love my little girl Reese, who will be ten years old next May. Reese was very much a “daddy’s girl” back when my ex lived with me. Sometimes I think she still is, even though he’s been gone for 2 years. 

We have an unusual relationship as a result of my ex-leaving. There are days when I swear she thinks that her “daddy” wanted to take her with him but the mean parent made her stay with her. Kind of like Hope Floats only the animal version, but maybe I’m projecting. 

What I wish I could tell her is that I chose her because I knew that much change would have been too much for her. And because I loved her enough want to keep her even though my life would be so much easier if I hadn’t.

So, what are her quirks?

Let’s start with barking and charging the door when the doorbell rings (whether in real life or on tv), when someone enters the house or if she thinks someone is entering the house. Common for a lot of dogs, but there’s more! 

She does not like new people in the house, even by invitation. If they look at her or, god forbid, talk to her, she will growl or bark at them and then run away. She has to accept you on her terms, even then she reserves the right to bark at you upon entry. 

And now that we have to leave whenever my house is being shown to a prospective buyer, she will run into the house upon our return barking her head off to scare the invisible people she thinks are in the house.

Next, she runs laps around the house if I start the oven, when the oven beeps to let me know it’s hot, at the timer one-minute left to cook sound and, if I don’t catch it in time, when the timer goes off. These laps are also reserved for the microwave and popcorn popper.

She has a sixth sense for times I’m going to turn on the garbage disposal and barks and runs when I do. If I pull a can out of the pantry, she starts to whine because she thinks I’m going to use the can opener, which is not always the case, and barks the entire time I use it. She actually knows the sound of the freezer opening because she will come to the kitchen no matter where she is in the house in hopes of getting something to eat. What makes it weirder is that I have never fed her from the refrigerator/freezer ever, but she is still there waiting.

Then there is my phone. I have resorted to keeping it on vibrate because any noise it makes, she starts barking – ringer or notification, it makes no difference. Even on vibrate, she barks when I answer the phone or pick up the phone or if she thinks I’m going to pick up the phone after it has vibrated, which she will also bark at on occasion (usually when it’s left on a table where the vibration is more noticeable). Oh, and when I listen to Reality Checked on Sirius, she comes running at the opening music – but only for Reality Checked, no other show I listen to.

But the piece de resistance is when I sneeze – then she thinks we are under attack. And I never sneeze just once. She starts with the high-pitched barking that will eventually settle into a frenzied whimper until I blow my nose where all is right in her world again.

I tell you all of this for two reasons: first, when I say my dog is crazy, people think I’m joking. I think this shows I am not. Second, in spite of all of her nervous ticks (which can be grating at times), I would still choose her again and adjust my life, because it was right for her, and I will always do what’s right for my animals.